Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

slow

.
.
.

our eyes stuck
on each other
skin on skin
heat rising

the slow torture
of release
my mind is
open wide

as you unravel
tongues and limbs
that cling
with every intention
of sucking you in

.
.
.

Author notes

haha

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • vieve gold member
    November 15
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    very nice. what is it about the word 'unravel'? It certainly works well here.


  • Nicolette gold member
    November 7

    Edit | Reply
    hmmmm...intoxicating...slow hands, feet and mouths... - and lovely!

    ~ Nicolette


  • Angelic Wolf
    November 6
    Edit | Reply
    This was good

  • invested
    November 6

    Edit | Reply
    I really liked the last stanza. It was all pretty good but the end was definetly excellent.

  • mchugh73
    November 6
    Edit | Reply
    Very short and yet sensual


  • MJ Poe
    November 6
    Edit | Reply
    pretty good. i liked the way you wrote it

1 - 9 of 9