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Broken Path

I've been sitting in the darkness
Waiting for your light to find me
But I feel so damn cold and empty
Without someone to guide me

I have fallen away from radiance
And into a dark pit of scorpions
Where all of the poison gathers
To be injected into the humans

Another broken road that leads me
To another dusty trail that bleeds me
Dry of all my feelings and dreams that
Once seemed so clear to me, I can't go on
Without your love to carry me on

And all of the toxic lies spread
Through my bloodstream quickly
I need another fix, just to get me
Through another day so dreary

I'm wracked with guilt and so I
Inject my poison back into you
Just another puppet dancing
On strings, to be another tool

Another broken road that leads me
To another dusty trail that bleeds me
Dry of all my feelings and dreams that
Once seemed so clear to me, I can't go on
Without your love to carry me on

Somewhere hidden deep in shadow
I have found the will to carry through
But I know that I would be nothing
If I couldn't look to and trust in you
So as a world lies broken and bleeding
I will always seek all the glory for you

Another broken road that leads me
To another dusty trail that bleeds me
Dry of all my feelings and dreams that
Once seemed so clear to me, I can't go on
Without your love to carry me on

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Everlasting Ellen
    November 18
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    i love this poem, it flows wonderfully.

    And its also really deep, I especially love the chorus

    Another broken road that leads me
    To another dusty trail that bleeds me
    Dry of all my feelings and dreams that
    Once seemed so clear to me, I can't go on
    Without your love to carry me on

    I can imagine this song as a metal kind of song...?

    Really well done


  • insidemjsnotebook
    November 12
    Edit | Reply
    Very nice. I liked this quite a lot.

  • The Juggernaut
    November 8

    Edit | Reply
    Line 10.
    I think 'that bleeds m' sounds better.
    Line 12&13.
    I like it.
    But, with the 'and on' in 13.
    It messes up the flow.

    I didn't mean to pick it apart. It's really amazing.
    I just pointed out the parts that I thought needed a little better flow.
    Don't be too mad.
    ♥ Your Wifey. :]


  • Pain in her eyes
    November 6
    Edit | Reply

    wow

    Awsome poem keep u p. With the writing


  • Satans Mistresses
    November 6
    Edit | Reply
    The imagery was absolutlely amazing! I really liked this one.

1 - 5 of 5