Classroom Lessons

BEFORE I EVEN BEGIN, let me turn off
My cell phone
Excuse my rudeness! Friends and family, they can wait
So we move on, ladies and gentlemen!
ya, even though its lunch

And I use the term loosely
Let me see. What to do, what to say

STAND FOR THE PLEDGE!
No sleeping in class
be quiet!, be on time!
Don't run, don't walk
step on my toes and hold my hand why don't ya!

Quickly now, before the bell
I'll begin my long, but not so short tale

EXCESSIVE P.D.A.!
I have no preference
guy, guy; girl, girl
but that's just wrong
fine, go yell at the straight couple

But I need to begin
I must see clearly written work

WHATS THAT!
Is that how you write?!
Is that how you spell! How you talk!
What is that?
idk, my bff Jill.

So listen up
I'm only going to say this once, listen up

WORK IN SILENCE!
Put your book away
There will be no need to talk!
Is that an “I”-Pod, an MP3 player?
No shit,...hence the headphones!

But where does that leave us
What progress was made?

NO SWEARING!
Don't foul the air
Be proper, be polite
Be... Politically correct
fuck that, that's for those old assholes

Now that we've got that straight
I'm ready to begin

PAY ATTENTION TO CLASS DISCUSSION!
Go to detention
See your guidance counselor, go to ISS
But don't miss class
now that's education

And play nicely with others
I'm sure you all know each others