I love your daughter.
God damn it,
I LOVE YOUR DAUGHTER.
I’ll be an awkward English mess
just for her. I swear.
(Blast it!)
I’ll buy an attaché case
from someplace fancy and
I’ll be Bond, James Bond.
(Would that kinda thing
impress her?)
Her eyelashes excite me
like burning magnesium.
If she doesn’t like this,
I’ll borrow (STEAL) some
lines from J. Alfred Prufrock.
You can mock my ability, but
I love your daughter like
the word ‘carcinogen’.
She’s a cotton candy kinda
carcinogenic.
(Hold on. Is that a
compliment?)
So: I: may: not: know:
how: to: speak: my: mind.
But I do know how
to
adore
your
daughter.
(Tell her to
give me a call!)
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Poetically delicious!!!!
Oh Phil, my Phil... Impressive, need I say masterful!
"I love your daughter.
God damn it,
I LOVE YOUR DAUGHTER. "
That's so perfect, it reminded me of John Cusack in Say Anything for some reason... The use of capitals added emphasis exactly how it needed to be added.
"I’ll be an awkward English mess
just for her. I swear.
(Blast it!)"
That's beautiful, witty and poetic. I truly love that line. You need to become a songwriter, I'd go to any concert I could possibly afford!
"I’ll buy an attaché case
from someplace fancy and
I’ll be Bond, James Bond.
(Would that kinda thing
impress her?)"
It would impress me, I LOVE ATTACHE CASES!!!!! This is comically frustrating yet so begging for love.
" Her eyelashes excite me
like burning magnesium. "
Oh yeah, totally!!!
"If she doesn’t like this,
I’ll borrow (STEAL) some
lines from J. Alfred Prufrock.
You can mock my ability, but
I love your daughter like
the word ‘carcinogen’.
She’s a cotton candy kinda
carcinogenic.
(Hold on. Is that a
compliment?)
It's beautiful in every way and it's a compliment. Who wouldn't mind some J. Alfred Prufrock lines?
"So: I: may: not: know:
how: to: speak: my: mind. "
Boy that's one thing you can do and I'm jealous for I adore your style!
"But I do know how
to
adore
your
daughter.
(Tell her to
give me a call!) "
If only I had a daughter, and it's a lovely ending Phil.
In admiration,
Kristy
"
-
Her eyelashes excite me
like burning magnesium.
Oh to be young and in love. No really, I want to be young and in love. That line hit me but overall this poem is dripped love mushiness which I'm sure you truly were headed for. You succeeded. Beautiful piece. Lucky girl. -
i like this, very sweet and simple. i guess i wish i had a boyfriend who would do all that for me. lmao. good job and can't wait to read more.
xx. red.
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I think this is a brilliant piece. It's unique and makes some comparisons and uses some language that other pieces wouldn't. I think the analogy of carcingenic cotton candy is amazing, and the stealing lines and identities ("I’ll be Bond, James Bond.").
Perfectly sums up the nervous mess you become when meeting your other half's parents. A wicked write!
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Thought I'd stop by and have a read since you left me some lovely
comments
This is up there with some if the more original pieces I've come across on this site!! I really loved it! Particularly the talk if carcinogens... That's my favourite part.
Awesome write - glad I stopped by!
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This is hilarious and would make quite the impression on a parent, methinks. Once they stopped laughing, they might even consider introducing you to their daughter. I'd consider it, if you only resembled Sean Connery...after all, he IS Bond. 
Well done, Poet.
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I can do a fake Scottish accent and kill some bad guys if you want?
Plus the attaché case of course...
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adorable and impressively penned.
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i'm a spoken word artist by nature, and my god... this is one of the best pieces ive read where i can not only see it performed, i can hear it. the stresses on different syllables...
i have to read more of your work. -
Pretty Cool
I like it... It made me laugh a little and it was kinda nice all at the same time
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wow this is amazing its so sweet,
and adorable
good luck !!!!!!
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