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November 6, 2009 - Luscious

Missing image

Luscious 

Slender hands soothe

nimble fingers trace

supple touches penetrate

rippled tingles spew

She does all

with only a gaze

without a touch

with only her presence

Such is the power

of this luscious flower

as transformed image

becomes entwined passion

 

Author notes

Prompt: Photograph - Lena & "A Token" by ROBERT CREELEY


A contest entry

Isn't it amazing what a wonderful process exists that transforms a viewer into a particpant?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 27 of 27
  • whitecapsatmorn
    November 16
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    enchanting

    You have made this lovely creature warm, coy and alive. Great treatment of the prompt. Effective form and style.

    white caps at morn


  • Starswhispers silver member
    November 7

    Edit | Reply
    You keep her out of reach somehow in a very skillful way, talking of passion but keeping her a mystery just like an icon should be. Well done.

    • Bjarne gold member
      November 7
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks

      I appreciate you stopping by and leaving a great comment.

      bjarne

  • ea silver member
    November 7

    Edit | Reply
    "She does all with only a gaze" - such is the power of a beautiful woman and the blaze of the camera's flash.

    • Bjarne gold member
      November 7
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks

      I appreciate your comments. Best wishes as you judge your entries.
      bjarne

  • worley281
    November 7

    Edit | Reply
    Like this one. Beautiful language and imagery that perfectly describe the woman in the picture. You have taken the flat image of a photograph and injected the warmth of her flesh and the sparkle in her eye. Lovely to read with a nice melody.

    thank you,

    worley

    • Bjarne gold member
      November 7
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks

      I appreciate you stopping by and your most generous comments.
      bjarne

  • claire31
    November 7

    Edit | Reply
    You have something special with this one. I almost wish you had not posted the photograph because she is more lovely in words than in the photo. I love the language and the sketch. I like even more how it teases the mind and makes us want to know more of her. We are so entranced with her we want her to turn around, to stretch to reveal more of her beauty.

    Thanks for great reader experience,

    claire

    • Bjarne gold member
      November 7
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks Claire

      I appreciate your support and your very generous comments.
      bjarne


  • nichtmich silver member
    November 6

    Edit | Reply
    Such a tender poem about the desire inspired by a single photograph. The sensations depicted carry one into a revalry of thoughts, memories and possible fantasies. Tastefully done and excitingly executed.

    • Bjarne gold member
      November 7
      Edit | Reply

      Thank You

      It is truly an honor to get your comments and hear that I pleased you with this write.

      Thank you very much.
      bjarne

  • iroquois silver member
    November 6

    Edit | Reply

    elegant

    You have certainly done justice to the photograph. In fact she is more alluring in words than in the flesh. I think that is because when we read something so eloquently stated our mind begins to add to the mental image and her beauty grows more exceptional . I found the imagery lovely and of course you always write with music in your words. I support the concept in your question.

    iroquois

    • Bjarne gold member
      November 7
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks

      I appreciate so very much hearing from you and your wonderfully supportive comments.

      bjarne

  • churchill
    November 6

    Edit | Reply
    Ahh ....just as I said recently you know the right way to write something intended to be sensuous. You understand it needs to be wrapped in the mind of the reader not a clinical expose. This one does not disappoint. You have caught the subtle details that make her come alive. Of course we (the readers) cannot resist being with in the only way possible with the picture in our mind. Wonderful language. Artful writing.

    churchill

    • Bjarne gold member
      November 6
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks

      Ah yes, even in reality, the process occurs between the ears!
      bj

  • louvre4
    November 6

    Edit | Reply

    bravo!

    You have written this poem with such a skillful and artful hand. She is sensuously appealing in the most exquisite way - in our own minds. The reader owns her for that brief moment we are perusing your poem and we cannot resist watching and being a part of her actions. Outstanding writing.

    louvre

    • Bjarne gold member
      November 6
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      Thanks Louvre

      I appreciate your very kind and encouraging comments.

      bjarne

  • hmatisse3
    November 6

    Edit | Reply
    Tantalizing words form a tantalizing vision. She has not only a sensuous nature but is a totally charming woman. Really love the language and imagery. Excellent posting.

    matisse

    • Bjarne gold member
      November 6
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks Matisse

      I am pleased you enjoyed the poem.
      bjarne


  • ivoire gold member
    November 6

    Edit | Reply

    exciting

    You have placed her so perfectly in the mind's eye it would be impossible to not become part of the view. Lovely words and images. A reader's delight.

    ivoire

    • Bjarne gold member
      November 6
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks

      I appreciate your kind and generous remarks.
      bjarne

  • kandinsky9
    November 6

    Edit | Reply

    and she is.....

    The photograph is not necessary. Your writing captures her in a way no picture ever could. You have that special talent to fix her in our minds with the little nuances you offer. You are able with the greatest of subtlety to make us want to be voyeurs.

    kandinsky


  • solitaire
    November 6

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    Insightful & delicious

    Beautifully written with wonderful language and imagery. You know so well how to arouse interest without being graphic. You allow the reader to use their mind and be a "participant." Like this one.

    solitaire

    • Bjarne gold member
      November 6
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks

      I appreciate you stopping by and your kind remarks.

      bjarne


  • SummerlandRayne gold member
    November 6

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    Romance and sensuality to the ultimate degree...I love the subtle words...the tender imagery!

     

    So very tantalizing~~~

     

     

    Az

    • Bjarne gold member
      November 6
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks

      You are soooo generous. Thanks a bunch!
      b

1 - 27 of 27