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-Betrayal-

Here lying under the stars.
wanting to fight like the war god Mars
I try to hope,
Knowing that I will cope

I breathe through dust,
Knowing that I must thrust
Against the heavy doors of betray
Knowing that I must slay

I must slay the traitors,
not caring about the later
Time does not matter
Even when I fill battered.

Is this good? It's one of the best poems I ever wrote...

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Comments


  • Manda Kathryn Greeters member
    November 6

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    Welcome to AllPoetry

    Wow; this is quite a vivid tale and you're only 11 years old - very impressive I could never write anything at 11

    You give good descriptions and imagery of the dust, doors of betrayal and strength to fight it; an excellent poem

    I notice one small spelling error in the final line: 'fill' - 'feel' very easy to write 'fill' instead of 'feel'

    I hope you enjoy AllPoetry and continue to share your words with us
    ♥
    Stay safe
    ~Manda
    Site Greeter


  • shelldefined
    November 6
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    Wow! This was extremely good! The fierce battle roars throughout this poem. Great job!!!!