emptiness
fills my space
the space
i live in
is lifeless
I love my life
I do
I promise
but the loneliness
surrounds
me
cuffs me
and locks me
into doubtful looks
and furrowed brows
I can't tolerate
the silence
I want to
but it's getting to be unbearable
at least i know my fear
i know i can't handle the quiet
i need action
laughter
color
and vibrancy
i need the constant reminder
that I am alive
when I am alone
I lose it
I need to be alone
I can't be in a relationship
it's impossible
I'm not ready for it yet
I'm young
I don't need it yet
but regardless
I want someone
to see me for me
all the scars
all the bruises
all the greedy intentions
the missteps
the bitchy attitude
every malicious
and friendly advance
I am ready to bare
the essentials
i have created from scratch,
each root
increasing time
and knowledge
my mind is talking constantly
it hates the silence
more than i do
at these times i feel like i am
at WAR with me
my mind clenches in disapproval
of all i stand for
if only i could just sit
in my silence
just wade
in the water
if i could sift through
the dirt,
to find the gold from mining
I would
but the silence is
screaming
the water is deep
the war is
ongoing and
the gold has already been
sifted
the only way
i can make you understand
is one word at a time
but my words don't tell it
my unwilling tears do
my worried face
my subtle grin
my 2am nights
and keeping boys around
to just cuddle
The silence is ripping me apart
I wish i could stop it sometimes
but
I will wait out the echoes,
like i have in the past
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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You have done a good job getting the basic outline of the poem here. The emotions are there but it lacks imagery and cohesiveness. I would take this and compress it, cut out unnecessary bits. Good start!
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i love this! this is exactly how i feel. i was worried i wouldn't find the right words to say but you have done it. thank you so much.
my favorite part:
I'm young
I don't need it yet
but regardless
I want someone
to see me for me
all the scars
all the bruises
all the greedy intentions
the missteps
the bitchy attitude
every malicious
and friendly advance"
that is whats going on in my head right now.
very well written poet. this is a really good poem. i loved the emotions and the words. it was just all-around great.
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Wars eternal rage within
To each a desperate fight
Some you lose, some you win
I hope you win tonight
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great poem i love the way you write such emotion....great poem
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wow... i'm with Annorlunda with this... i can totally relate. very well written.
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I loved the honesty in this, and I could relate to a lot of it too, especially this bit:
'my mind is talking constantly
it hates the silence
more than i do
at these times i feel like i am
at WAR with me
my mind clenches in disapproval
of all i stand for'
That literally perfectly describes my brain. On edge. In conflict with itself. Noisy with it's own nonsense.
Well written.
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