Swinging

Why do I end up with the keys
To a police box on the M6
When I turn up at swinging parties
To put myself in the mix

The wife never has these problems
With Pete or Phil or Dave
As she pops off round the back of the shed
For some wacky baccy and a rave
(That's what she tells me)

I may have better luck next time
There's one that I quite fancy
With massive dangling earrings
I think her name is Nancy

The keys are in the pot
The wife's pulled out a winner
Big George the butcher
She's having pork sword for dinner

I've put my hand right in there
And come up trumps there is no doubt
Randy Mandy, massive tits
And a great big hairy clout
(I'll need a plank)

We'll all be back next week
I've seen something quite shocking
That Nancy I fancy is a bloke
Walking round in a body stocking

Home to bed, being flirty
Wine is cheap and talk is dirty
Turn off the light and go to sleep
But be careful in whose bed you leap