Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Analog

Snare hit, kick drum
Fingers sliding on the strings.
Notes picked, chords strummed
Licking lips before they sing.

As if wind came from amplifiers,
Melodies scattered flower petals.
Electric buzz like brand new tires,
And dragonflies with guitar pedals.

Light, frothy drums blow bubbles in the air,
Ripening like rainbow fruit till soapy membranes tear.
Bass pours smoke like the haze off blocks of ice,
A voice so smooth, it cuts the skin like scalpels in mid-slice.

Author notes

Hm. Reading out loud helps. Good "S" sound practice, I only realized afterward.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • metanoia
    November 6

    Edit | Reply
    "Light, frothy drums blow bubbles in the air,
    Ripening like rainbow fruit till soapy membranes tear."

    This stanza really stood out to me. "Frothy drums"...genius? Yes. I love the way you brought music to life by only words. The tone is so active, I can almost feel it happening all around me. This is definitely one of the best writes you've done in a while.

  • This was def full of imagery I agree. I like how you made it have a musical taste to it but then compared it with nature.


  • Kendal Palmer gold member
    November 6

    Edit | Reply
    fresh and original...full of great imagery! I enjoyed this very much. Thank you for sharing. Keep that ink flowing.
    Peace and light,
    Kendal