Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

the poem you look for;





i had it and
it was welling
on the rim of my eyes
like the overture of ach-
oo, wiping your lashes
and telling everyone how
sorry you are and please
excuse me it won't happen
again.














Author notes


there is something i desperately want to write and i don't know how to get it out. it almost got to that place and it slipped away.

What did you think?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 10 of 10
  • primal-things
    November 8

    Edit | Reply
    ach-oo? Like a sneeze?

    I'm not entirely sure what to make of this. It's absolutely brilliant/beautiful/amazing and all that, it just... makes me feel something I can't quite identify.

    Well, it is incredible, so great job, and I hope you find that thing you need to write


  • stasis
    November 6
    Edit | Reply
    I feel like this.


  • Daizee silver member
    November 6

    Edit | Reply
    I'm not sure what feeling or words you're striving for, but the words you found are pretty darn good


  • decode
    November 6
    Edit | Reply
    this poem = my day today. :/


  • alaska.
    November 6

    Edit | Reply
    what you have is amazing.
    though, I know how' you're feeling.
    I'm currently there too.


  • e s h a.
    November 6

    Edit | Reply
    this made me look like the emoticon...

  • piggyback
    November 6

    Edit | Reply
    wow... it must be frustrating, but this poem is amazing! I love how well put together it is. It's coherent and succinct and poetic. Very intense and I relate, too.


  • Matt E. Smith gold member
    November 6

    Edit | Reply
    this is currently how I'm feeling right now as well...it's just at the cusp of surfacing but not quite.

  • Asabouros.
    November 6
    Edit | Reply
    ah, that's better.


  • Candy Morphine
    November 6
    Edit | Reply
    wow.
    you got pretty damn close.

1 - 10 of 10