Bitter till the end

I'm bitter I'll admit
And I refuse to commit
To a broken friendship
That I was not equipped
To deal with this mess
Something that we both won't address
I'll grow stronger
But I can't deal with you much longer
Use me as fast as you can
Because sooner or later you'll be without your man
Then you will once again run back to me
I'm not sure how forgiving I may be
You've tested our love for over 6 years 
Unsure as to why but I could count the tears
You pushed me back and forth like I'm a toy for your pleasure
Now my hate for you cannot be measured 
Things could have been great
But you refused to understand now it's too late
How am I supposed to even look at you?
When all I see is heartache and someone I knew
It's crazy how I still feel the knife in my back
Twisting and turning I try not to react
I'm not sure if you feel the same way
I guess it will stay a secret until you decide to finally say
...those words i've been begging to hear 
...since the day you decided I wasn't good enough and brought on all these fears
But I cannot see it happening anytime soon
So for know I will just say that our friendship will forever be doomed