Moon saw Midas touch day gold,
That night she scampers silver-soled;
Luna slips on silver shoe -
See silver soak all within view.
Silver spills on scattered seeds,
Moon mimics Midas gold-touched deeds;
A treasure in her silver trace,
Soon all sleep sound 'neath Luna's face;
In shadows lined by silver light,
The moon a Muse of silvered sight.
Beneath Moon's sweet seductive glance,
See Ceres spin her harvest dance;
That day's gold now silver kissed,
As Luna lights what Midas missed.
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/silver/
Author notes
parody
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/silver/
honest critiques opinions PLEASE
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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nice, nice, your use of imagery is sparkling, well written as always!!
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I read the poem Silver by Walter de la Mare that your poem is a parody of so now I have a better understanding of yours. Even though we know so much more about it, the moon is still fascinating to look at on a clear night and to have it's silver light wash over us.
I found your parody very good when compared with the original
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As Luna lights what Midas missed.
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A treasure in her silver trace and tongue
with grace adds light and laughter to the page,
at which hoar age finds silver strands turn young
so drawn desires admired are fired, engage,
withdrawal symptoms thus are mired, and flung
overboard as confidence is sung ...
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I much prefer silver to gold! A thoroughly enjoyable read, in fact, it was delightful!
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This sounds like a sweet lullaby, with a beautiful imaginative quality that isn't silly. It's lovely and makes one smile to read; I can picture all of this as I read it and it's lovely.
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Pretty. All of the s sounds give this a sleepy rhythm. Go Luna ( I have a dog named Luna) Soon all sleep sound 'neath Luna's face;
In shadows lined by silver light,
It's that time here now.
It's very nice poem, Sin.
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thank you fiona, I've still a few hours to kill. ssssssee ya!
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