What is a tear but an unspoken word
when words will not comply,
when nothing earthly can express
a heartfelt embrace or bitter goodbye?
What is a tear but a heart out-poured
when there is no heart to lend,
when life seems most unbearable
when no-one seems a friend?
What is a tear but a drop of the soul
when the soul has worn away,
when there is nothing else do
and nothing else to say?
Author notes
S i l v e r Q
A contest entry
- Rhyme Me A River Of Tears by BeachBum1.
1273 points, ended November 10, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I'm trying a different style here, please be critical! I also would like help/advice about how to use punctiation etc. in this poem
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I love this poem. It's so adorable. I wanted to give this poem a hug, and tell it to smile and that everything will be okay. I really love your words. You made them come alive.
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Thanks!
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Your rhyme is faultless this read so beautifully. I liked the emotion it conveyed as well, constantly drawing us in with your questions, I love poems that leave us with more questions than answers because this definitely sparks my muse! I only wish it was a little longer and perhaps used a few metaphors. Other than that I thank-you for entering this piece it was lovely and warm good luck
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Thank you!
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I like this and do think that it is actually pretty good... I would suggest that you keep the same number of syllables in each line (perhaps 8 or 10?) unless you are using a specific form that requires otherwise. Also, I would get a slim paperback on punctuation and USE it (perhaps "Write It Right"? and also, of course, the Elements of Style, by Strunk and White.)
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Thank you, I'll try to touch it up a bit and even out the number of syllables. I know how to use punctuation, I just always get confused in using it for poems!
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