you opened your mouth and it all poured out. every lie ever spoken, every love confession on creased eraser worn paper. Jupiter and Saturn dripped into the gaps between your teeth. god pried your lips with his spindly fingers and jumped out. the oceans refilled and the starfish hid behind coral as the water swelled like monsoons sent from hell in the heat of Summer. the sky turned purple, choked and spluttering. thunder struck the ground, bellowing across the earth. a voice unable to be ignored. lightening showed no mercy, fires licking the air and spitting out smoke. evidence. like fingerprints your tongue splintered and shattered under pressure. bits of it were found in Chicago. bits found in western creeks off the Nile.
Christmas comes once a year. Easter comes once a year. your sister’s birthday comes once a year. tomorrow is always the same as today but you change your name and move to another time. the grass goes black. the trees become golden.
one day you’ll explode and flutter like the burnt ashes of letters read and abhorred. all the gravity in the heavens won’t be able to catch you.
when you hit the ground it will hurt more
than broken bones
or a split organ.
the bricks are coloured in different paints but they are still bricks.
the girls are named in different syllables but they are still girls.
the boys fall from different heights but they still fall.
and no matter how many different words you use
you will always
be what you never wanted.
she undressed.
tearing off her morning and leaving it where the flowers refuse to bloom.
you touched her.
she wiped her hands on your back.
you tore her spine
she bit so hard into your arm you
bled.
and on her teeth your desire breathed
deep into her bones.
your veins widened.
your eyes like dams filled by
flash floods.
she pushed a little closer,
bit a little harder.
you opened your mouth and the
universe poured out.
god watched you through squinted eyes. frustration shred his limbs. repent boiled on his gums. you were not his human. not his son or even his distant relative. you were the spume attached to the beautiful waves. you were the dirty feathers on birds with plumes of radiance. you were the cancer subsequent to the sun. he swore. then he closed his eyes,
counted to five
(1
2
3
4
5)
and thought it best if he never watched you again.
you will always
be what no one wanted.
Author notes
no idea if this is what you wanted.
the poem is actually centred on god and how what he creates doesn't always work out that well.
ugh.
can't write today :/
A contest entry
- [no title yet] by whiterabbit..
700 points, ended November 6, 15 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - everywhere, i'm breathing the stars by nous..
400 points, ended November 11, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Lost Causes.
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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different beleifs, but that does not prevent this from being amazing. whoa. wow.
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I could never write as good as this. I will try to learn by watching you, but I doubt that is possible. You are brilliant, but as my words can never give you enough praise, know that I am deeply drawn to your work. You did an amazing job with this piece.
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This is super minor, but I think the line
you will always
be what you never wanted.
and the ending which is similary, if be was on the first line, it would flow a little better. Just me, probably. It's fine how it is if you don't want to change it. But anyway, onto the amazingness.
This was like WHOA! I LOVE it
I can't pick a favorite part. I do agree this part was great, though, too.:the bricks are coloured in different paints but they are still bricks.
the girls are named in different syllables but they are still girls.
the boys fall from different heights but they still fall.
And the beginning stanza is just ...holy poop. I love your style. It's like, "I don't care if it makes sense or not, it's still amazing!" Even though, it flows enough to make sense. Which I can never acheive. Lucky.
Anyways, this was stunning. Keep up the terrific work
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your veins widened.
your eyes like damns filled by
flash floods.
> unless it was intentional, damns should be dams.
that's the only thing i found, and it's only minor.
this was amazing. i mean far out. if you can't write today.. what on earth happens when you can write! well.. i know. you write beautifully. but still, this was stunning.
congrats on the gold
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one day you’ll explode and flutter like the burnt ashes of letters read and abhorred. all the gravity in the heavens won’t be able to catch you.
when you hit the ground it will hurt more
than broken bones
or a split organ
- My favorite part.
Amazing, amazing, AMAZING.
&& The ending?
Epic.
My heart caught in my throat when I read this.
I absolutely adore the metaphoric language && vocabulary.
Beautiful. Simply beautiful. ♥
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your veins widened.
your eyes like damns filled by
flash floods.
she pushed a little closer,
bit a little harder.
you opened your mouth and the
universe poured out.
it's a lovely write but damns should be dams...i love the imagery in this poem.
good luck in the contest and congrats on the gold.
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WEEELL!VERY creative!
I must say that I have never read anything quite like this.You have talent, though and a very unique writing style.
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i agree with the others. this is fan.tas.tic.
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you are far, far too kind on my poetry.
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this whole poem is amazing, but the part that really meant a lot to me was this:
"
the bricks are coloured in different paints but they are still bricks.
the girls are named in different syllables but they are still girls.
the boys fall from different heights but they still fall.
and no matter how many different words you use
you will always
be what you never wanted."
and the ending. and, wow, there are too many points to pick out; that's the way it always is with your poetry. not one word or space wasted or unimportant or insignificant. i hope this places well in the contest : )
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Can't write huh ? Liar . This is bloody amazing
I love it .
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xD
who's the liar now, hey? -
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When you say you can't write and pen such stunning poetry
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I loved how you ended it.
"the bricks are coloured in different paints but they are still bricks.
the girls are named in different syllables but they are still girls.
the boys fall from different heights but they still fall."
-amazing.
this was such a great write!
did you mean through instead of though for the title?
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every lie eve --> ever, i think??
anyways.
i really like this, especially the ending. amazing for a "can't-write" day.
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