Waiting for you in these shadows,
to come through that door.
Anticipation grows with every minute,
wanting to see the look in those eyes.
I dream of this every night,
hearing your fear this time.
Revenge has come this night,
close the door and meet your fate.
Face to face with your deeds,
the one you tried to destroy.
Is here to take you down.
Come on over and see your fate,
face to face, eye to eye.
Take you down and show you hell,
the hell I lived for years on end.
The hell you made will take you now,
death would be a great escape.
Revenge has come this night,
close the door and meet your fate.
Face to face with your deeds,
the one you tried to destroy.
Is here to take you down.
You’re the evil that created this,
I became you in the end.
I smile as I show you my world,
places have been switched.
Your screams can be heard,
it only draws those you set down.
The ones who lived in your hell,
control is in our hands.
An end for you will never come.
What did you think
Comments
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I would use less punctuation, and make sure to add the 'r' to "your" in the 4th stanza, 3rd line. I understand revenge, it's an emotion everybody can relate to at some point in their life - but, nevertheless, I feel no emotional interest in the well-being of either character. There's more content dealing with thought, than imagery - so, while we understand the thought, we lack a good visual to accompany it.
That aside, it did keep me reading through every stanza, so that being the case it was an interestingly written poem, I'd love to see it expanded a little, with some good imagery and darker content.
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Thanks for the input. It was my second piece slowly adding them getting to the newer ones. It was originally meant to be lyrics for a song.
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