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Daydream..

When you caught my eye, the very first time.
I couldn't get you off of my mind.
I like it how we lock each other's eyes.
I just feel intertwine around you.
Thats when I started to realize.
What you bring to my life.
Dang! This guy can make me smile

It's you that I want to desire.
You're so contagious.
You keep me out of the fire.
Your like my aegis.
Can your love take me higher?
I'm so courageous.

I'm not scared to go over and talk to you
Do I have to write a construe?
About why you mean everything to me?
To tell you the truth.
I really don't know.
What I do know is you're my daydream.
Suddenly ,your like a gleam.
The light to make me see
That your the one for me
,but when I woke up..
it was all a dream ,but the dream became a..
reality

Author notes

Prompt #2

A contest entry

What do you think? What do you think it need to be change

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • vampireblood
    November 30
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    This was a good write, isnt love grand. I enjoyed reading this.
    Thanks for entering and best of luck to you in my contest.
    ~Vampy


  • Beautiful-N-Broken silver member
    November 21

    Edit | Reply
    Great write! Thanks so much for entering this into my contest and giving me the oppurtunity to read this. You did a lovely job writing this and I enjoyed reading it very much. Good luck in the contest.


  • Diminished Capacity gold member
    November 15

    Edit | Reply
    Love brings out the most beautiful poetry. This one is fantastic. The ending is sad, but I believe that one day your dream will come true. Wonderfully penned, thank you so much for entering my contest.


  • evershine-90
    November 11

    Edit | Reply
    Cute
    sounds like your in love with this special someone beautifully written, Well done and thank you for your entry
    Best wishes!


  • sgking123 gold member
    November 8

    Edit | Reply

    good

    this was really good expression of your intents so well done that i almost felt you apparoaxhing your object holding hands and walking away..ahemmmm..well done..please visit me


  • Fallen-Thumper gold member
    November 7

    Edit | Reply

    thank you for entering

    i really loved this piece it made me smile and it says a lot. I really love the last lines Amazing and good luck! thanks for entering!
    -penguin-


  • Remix Factory
    November 6

    Edit | Reply
    dream became a reality.. guuud. *dances saying sumone is in luv..*
    lik da poem DJ. cant want to see da contest resuatz.

    • hershey101
      November 6
      Edit | Reply
      thank you remix glad u lik it me 2 cnt wait 2 see da results too..

  • Time focus on Me
    November 6

    Edit | Reply

    Hey

    Sis, No dont change it leave it as is. U done a beautiful job with this. It full of love, heart, Emotions, n Everything. Enjoyed this poem. It also has so much feeling into it. Keep da ink flowin sis. Hugs I b in touch


    • hershey101
      November 6
      Edit | Reply
      awww thanks sis i appreciate dat u actually enjoyed this and ok i wnt change anythg and hugs 2 u 2 and ok me 2


  • ScarletStainedTears
    November 5

    Edit | Reply
    omg sis!!! this was awsome so mush feelings of love and evrything! and the way it flwoed all together! awsome sis!!

1 - 16 of 16