help?

i reach up and push myself to the surface,
just to be shoved back down.
and i feel like i am losing myself.
i am slipping away.
i feel my heart beating,
but i want it to stop.
i can hear myself breathing,
but i want it to cease.
i want it to end,
to tell her to stop.
i am dying,
i need some help.
but she wont let go,
she just grips tighter.
she just shows me the power
i know i don't have.
i am feeling low,tired and slow.
i can't wait any longer.
she is calling my name,
telling me how much i need her,
how fragile we both are.
how much we need
each other together,
forever.