12:29 5 November 2009 Thurs.
M: Nervous
P: Kitchen
small, out from one world
shy of independence, outcries
white-page innocence, hunger
a marble in the milky way
sun eyes, warm and bright
parental heliocentrism
object permanence, little hands
reaching earth to nourish
light years into growth
fear, self-identity, night
needing to find stars, heal scars
moon dying but never dead
wide, long, heavy, vast
open space, loosing gravity
an astronaut in one's mind
human universe
galaxy collisions, supernovas
struggles, time and energy
through eyes of hubble telescope observations
law inconstant, we are matter
atom to atom, we connect
through dark energy named love
dense, perhaps massive
never homogenous, isotropic perchance
scattered planets, wishes and dreams
black hole inevitables
frequency lost, asymmetrical life
existence due at expiration cost
infinitesimal, a molecule
dying breed, antique world
fossil in foreign beings
sound sure, human universe
13:17
Author notes
According to one source:
"the Universe is defined as everything that exists, has existed, and will exist."
Every person is a world, a Universe... with its own laws, own matter. That's the idea behind my poem.
Bonne chance to all contestants,
Kristy
http://littleflair.deviantart.com/art/hidden-dope-friend-142779084
A contest entry
- [no title yet] by whiterabbit..
700 points, ended November 6, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - everywhere, i'm breathing the stars by nous..
400 points, ended November 11, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Art Prompt Contest (ages 16 and above only) Favorites Welcome to Enter by Night Hope.
1200 points, ended November 16, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Any Merit? Any Constructive Criticism? Any Thought? Meaningful comments please.
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
This is an intelligent and well-written piece, Kristy. There is a veritable feast of words and images strewn throughout this poem. True, it's not often one finds science and poetry blended so seamlessly, but it should be more often, I think. Thank you for entering my contest, Sweetie. Good luck. 
-
-
Thank you ever so much, I do appreciate those kind words friend. I really tried writing a well-thought, well-penned poem based on how we truly are universally parallel. You are too kind and I hope it was worth the read
With gratitude,
Kristy
-
-
yes indeed! and it seems to carry a lot . Lovely piece:]
-
-
Thank you very much. I placed a lot of thought into this
In appreciation,
Kristy
-
-
Wow, you used some awesome words in this. How often do you see 'heliocentrism', 'isotropic' and 'infinitesimal' in the same poem? This is seriously smart stuff. You also blended together some magnificent expressions, such as:
'moon dying but never dead'
'hubble telescope observations'
'black hole inevitables'
'antique world'
Keep the excellence flowing!
-
-
Thanks Phil, I appreciate the read and compliments. I hope it made sense, though LOL You are an awesome fan, truly
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
