Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

blister


a bead bends down
beneath her chin
- blood crawls across
her tongue,
cowardly
coveting a new dialect.

i make her mouth
scalable,
climb in with hot coals
- then sear each slice.

on the way out,
blistered breath
becomes us both.



say no more,
this will be our language now.


Please tell me what you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • pitprincess
    November 13

    Edit | Reply
    Its been a while since I have read any of your work as I was off the site for a long while, I see I come back and you still keep the flow moving right along.
    Great write, it reminds me of the witch that has made her way into my life.. lol
    As always, Great Penning Kendall.


  • Terry-too silver member
    November 7

    Edit | Reply
    AS a sustained metaphor, this beats them all!

    It takes bloody effort to learn a foreign language, especially one not related in any way, with one's own, using for instance an alphabet totally unlike our own, farsi, or Chinese pictographs (there must be a better name) or Cyrillic...

    I may have missed the point entirely but at least it makes sense!

    Terry


    • Kendall Campbell
      November 7
      Edit | Reply
      Honestly, not what I initially intended but your interpretation may just be better than what I was going for. It's all in the perspective.

  • ecrivain01
    November 5

    Edit | Reply

    Intriguing write ...

    but you might want to remove that "e" from "breathe" in line 12 since you mean it as a noun, and the "e" makes it a verb, with an entirely different pronunciation.

1 - 5 of 5