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Abattoir

Through internecince meditation

recieved an insidious revelation

Sins for which I cannot atone

has left me raving and alone

 

The future keeps looking stark

I'm a malcontent in the dark

Who are you

 

With a reservoir of class

try to wade through the morass

Clean with diligence 'til I ache

but the mirror remains opaque

 

Myriad sins they do amass

They undulate through the past

Who are you?

 

The path of least resistance

has led to this quagmire

Put in an oubliette 

created by desire

 I have found resiliance

through putrid strength unseen

An intrinsic truth is

Truth is fallacy

 

Truth be told 

there is no future known

Struggle through

every single day

 

But in time 

I do believe you'll find

when you have the answer in your hands

It's already wrong

Author notes

WORD BANK-in order

I had a great time writing this-I sequestered my self away from the noise of the household and meditated on the list and "WHAP", off to the races. Had to look up Oubliette.
Word and questionable definition list: S
Insidious-seductive u
Revelation-astonishing disclosure p
Atone-to make amends e
RAVING-IF YOU DON'T KNOW THIS ONE, HAHAHAHA r
Stark-barren m
Malcontent-nothing matters and what if it did a
Reservoir-a stored amount n
Morass-something that confuses i
Diligence-steady, earnest and energetic s
Opaque-just can't see it m
Myriad-countless y
Amass-gather h
Undulate-I love this word e
Resistance-I won't tell you r
Quagmire-predicament o
Oubliette-dungeon with a hole in the top !
Resilience-adjust to misfortune
Putrid-eewww
Intrinsic-that which is held to be known
Fallacy-that which is though to be true, but is not

Just a little peek inside.........heavily inspired by the work of Corrosion of Conformity.

A contest entry

Are you honest with yourself?

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11
  • davelolione gold member
    November 18
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    A great introspective write. I find it true that what you find to be the answer is nearly always out of date or to later proved wrong, but still we look. Who are you? Me I think I find myself and then I go and redefine me further on another day.
    I think you have done well here from such an eclectic word bank you have brought us something deep that has something for every one who cares to look.

    Good luck with it .

    Dave


    • MichaelLeeSmyth
      November 19
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      Edit | Reply
      Thanks much, This is much more of an in your face piece than I usually write. It just jumped from the mind to the page, meditated on the words for twenty minutes. I have found since it's conception that it needs to grow.
      The first four stanzas speak to a society that chooses to partition off all that they find uncomfortable whilst not realizing that they are bringing about the inner rot of that they hold dear. Kind of this is me-F**K Y*U! I moved from the inner city to a white-bread town recently. A case of culture shock for all concerned.
      As for the rest-Following the easy path is destroying the fabric of society. The masses continue to lie to themselves to the point of dogmatic belief. Isolate and insulate, I have mine, so what? Their truth is an unreality they preach to themselves Zomblistic Bliss.
      If you can see deep enough to know what is real you can draw the strength to get through.
      The answer they find will always be wrong because they are not asking the correct question.
      Thanks for the read, the clappies, and the rant was cool too.
      I think the transition is about complete.


  • dying-heartbroken
    November 16
    Edit | Reply
    This is so very deep and very Beautiful...


  • sassykitty
    November 14
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    Edit | Reply
    wow that's deep! An excellent use of a word bank to create a stunningly thought provoking piece. All the very best in your contest and I thank you for sharing this. By the way, thought the title excellent, certainly grabbed my attention, and it's not because I tend to like single word titles, honestly

    • MichaelLeeSmyth
      November 14
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      Edit | Reply
      I would say that this piece most accurately depicts who I am and how completely unapologetic I am about it. Everyone has to find their own truth, worry about yours and I'll take care of mine.
      The title came about this because I feel that for many society is a cruel abattoir, stripping away dignity, self worth and respect, all to make themselves feel better about themselves. As I said before, this is an impolite gesture to them that is.
      We who can see the deep know.


  • Concrete Angel silver member
    November 12
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    Edit | Reply
    I love your word and definition list
    This was absolutely wonderful. This whole poem was engulfed with the feeling of malcontent. As I read it I just kept picturing someone rambling this off and shrugging there shoulders every time they asked "Who are you?" It's like you knew what had to be said would fall on deaf ears and that those spoken to would not care if you were speaking. Well... that's what I get from it anyway lol. And while thinking all THAT I felt the humor hiding in the words and sensed the greater message that if something good is to be done we just can't sit idly by. Fantastic write! And I am impressed you used the words in the order they were given
    Thanks for entering and good luck in my contest!

    • MichaelLeeSmyth
      November 14
      ?
      Edit | Reply
      This is my take on how greater society views many of us, and our continuing answer of F**K YOU! You are pretty close to nailing the sentiment indeed. Preconceptions are a way of life for much of what we call "society", they are so very good at letting us know what they think about us, this is my, "So what?" fired back. They cannot understand how we can be not unhappy because we choose to not be apart of their world.
      Yeah it is a bit snarky, but then again, so am I. I am a sarcastic and cynical sort of fellow.
      Yeah, there is a sly smile sliding by on this. The list lended itself well to the write.
      This piece keeps running through my mind, it will most likely face an extension.
      Glad you liked it, it is a lot of fun to read aloud.
      I'm thinking about doing it public if I can find an outlet, not much like that here.


  • Raining Kisses silver member
    November 5

    Edit | Reply
    this may well be the finest dam thing you have ever written mr smyth,,come on out and take a bow..you lil genius..and have a pat on the back from T...I love this piece..the flow is awesome...would be great to music also
    bravo big guy

    • MichaelLeeSmyth
      November 6

      Edit | Reply

      Gaarwsh, I'm all blushing and stuff

      This is a pretty pure piece, I went in with no concept of what I wanted to do with the words, only that they needed to be able to interlock with the vision.
      Thanks much for the glowing review.
      Peace

1 - 11 of 11