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A Mother Stands

Steel giants...
wait for little ants from their suburb hills
to come to work;
New York, Chicago, Philadelphia,  London, Paris, Tokyo, Bangkok, to name a few,
but in only one a mother stands with the giants
reaching up to their waists,
tears for her own children near and across the sea,
run down her chiseled face. 

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • TrixieOne
    November 8
    ?
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    So lovely

    I'm jealous!!!!

    That's all I have to say. However, I am thankful that I'm related to you...hopefully some of your talent was handed down to me! I love you Auntie!

  • goalsv
    November 5
    Edit | Reply
    A sad tale with beautiful words. A vision that jumps off th page and into our minds.


  • SheWolfNLust silver member
    November 5

    Edit | Reply
    very sad but beautiful, I enjoyed your poem very much and found it a pleasure to read, the picture your words painted here was vivit and clear, It had a nic flow and my favorite part is

    tears for her own children near and across the sea,
    run down her chiseled face.

    as this really tugged at my heart strings, wonderful job and much luck to you in the contest xoxo


  • mysticstorm gold member
    November 5
    Edit | Reply
    Very creative...the last three line say it all...nicely done.

    Thank you for entering!

    mystic


  • Debbydoes
    November 5

    Edit | Reply
    An interesting write! I see it is a contest, was it a picture prompt?

    it leaves you wondering who the one mother was/is, why is she the only one? where is she?

    I like the imagery towards the end of the mother reaching up, like she is begging for the wars and hatred to end, for mercy
    and for safety for her children


  • lilbabygurl88
    November 5

    Edit | Reply

    Giving it a Punch

    I like this piece. It's short, but has a great punch to it. I have to agree with the post below, my favorite lines are " reaching up to their waists, tears for her own children near and across the sea, run down her chiseled face."


  • happy kitty kat
    November 5

    Edit | Reply

    i liked it

    "reaching up to their waists,
    tears for her own children near and across the sea,
    run down her chiseled face." this was my favorite part i really liked this poem its so sad but hopeful at the same time great poem

1 - 7 of 7