Don't Fuck it up she wears the Name like a Badge. She's
Flashin' off her Rank to let you Know that she's Bad. Quick
To Cut a mutherFucker just for Runnin' his Mouth.
Don't Wanna see what she did to Chump snuck in my House.
Now I was at the Café,
Waitin’ on a Call,
And she was Home keepin' a Watch at the Door.
So what's a Man to do when there's Work to do?
Leave his Woman on the Couch ready to Tell the Truth.
Yeah She's got a Heart - that's Half Made of Lead,
The other Half loves me if I'm Live or Dead.
She knows when I get Home 'cause of the way that I Whistle,
And if she doesn't know You she'll be in position with a Pistol.
So lookin' out the Window she saw him Sneak through the Fence,
But she's a badass Bitch and he aint Comin' Takin’ Shit.
She let him Creep to the Window,
Th'ow a rock through.
She let him Look over the Sill,
Then told him the Truth.
Clap-Clap!
Author notes
Obviously fake.
Do you agree with Darkyinsoul?
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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this is lyrical i really liked it
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lol nice! I liked this! Got some hood in ya huh
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In, on, you know. Sometimes it's hard to tell where "I" end and it begins. There's lots of stuff in pandoras trap.?
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That's your bitch or your the one who turned out to be her bitch, doesn't matter since its obviously fake! Shame that's its fake would have made a great story. I found this quite amusing.
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Try function over form maybe?
You're right, nobody got shot. The function underneath this piece, that is the true allusion. I promise, nobody on this site has a clue as to what this piece means to me. I just pinned pictures and diction on it that some people might like. I promise, I wasn't writing about being anybody's bitch. Ask Afe, sometimes I write love poems about rocks. Those arent really about love, or rocks even, they're just pretty pictures for readers to resolve what I've left. They also work well to let my most intimate friends in on, everything.
By itself, this piece sucks. It's designed to sound like ghetto babbling and trash. That's my theme lately, toilet talk. I'll send you a key to this. Maybe you will like it. -
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Not anyone's Bitch? aww damn, ah well life is full of disappointments will get over it
. Either function over form or utter b/s I liked this piece.
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Um after the critique you wrote on mine I thought I would read yours. I am going to read another one.
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Good luck
*chortle*
Oops, wrong emote.
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L1.. Don't Fuck it up she wears the Name like a Badge. She's
first off Name should not be capital
L3.. To Cut a mutherFucker just for Runnin' his Mouth.
again look at the capitals
ohh my same for L4
actually you may want to look over this whole write
L9.. The other Half loves me if I'm Live or Dead.
if I am live or dead.. what does this mean? May want to fix some grammer here..
but hey that is just my opinion.. they are like assholes obviously everyone has one
all in all I would not consider this poetry sounds like rambling B.S.
so I will not be back
but good luck on future writes
Darky -
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Ooh! ooh! Wait. I didn't tell you why lines 1 and 2 both end the way they do!
And I wont.
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You're right, I wrote this while I was half asleep. Most of it is rambling bullshit and the rest of it is heavy with allusion. The capitals are there on purpose, but if you understood tone and inflection you'd understand why they are there. The grammar is wrong, oh so very wrong
, I'm pretty sure I did that on purpose too. Something about the combined effect of the stressed syllables, diction, improper grammar, (you missed the illegal contractions on all words suffixed with "ing"), and the overall content of this . . . Well, that's what they call style. Poets use these kinds of tools to let you know the state of mind this poem should be recieved in; you seem to have heard it loud and clear, even echoing back a little. I am worried about your lack of comprehension though.
I am not proud of this poem. I don't even like that I wrote it. But if you're going to have an "asshole" you could at least dress it up with a little skill (butter) first. There's a real art to being (an asshole) opinionated. You're taunting a master here.
Heeeere fishy fishy fishy. . .
I got yummy nuggets for your bowl . . .
C'mon fishieee . . . Nuggetssssss. . . for you . . .
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Even though this is not one of his more serious writes, This poet does not do things ghrough lack of understanding grammar, nor english. He does things on purpose. Was that a trade secret? Capitols hmm... Consider the words that have been given caps. The possibilities are everything but accidental. Of course you have to hold the shift key down to get them don't you? Ppssibly Kastor wanted to stress these words, make them stand out more. Possibly a form of strengthening the punctuation of the meter. Or possibly he's trying to prove a point. I'll put ten bucks on the first and last. Actually, twenty on all three. Live and live are two different pronunciations. "Emo's don't want to live." or "We've got a live one here." If you pronounce this properly, I'm sure you'll find that it works fine. Or maybe this is all wrong and everything is nothing, nothing is all things twisted in perspective and we are just an imagination of ourselves! And here's Tom with the weather...
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That tom failed hardcore. I mean who stands in front of a pressure system That suggestively?!?! Oops!
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I will be honest, hun, and you aren't going to like it. This is cute compared to most of your work.
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Aww, you called it cute.
My finger is still sore from waving it elsewhere. Rest assured, when it's up to par I'll show you.
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I cannot tell whether or not that is a promise or a threat. . .
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It's all fun and games until Kastor gets deleterious
I couldn't tell if you were leaving a weak compliment or if you were using the modern interpretation of "cute". So yes, my fingers push keys down or flip you off, but it all depends. In the long run it doesn't matter, I will still love you the same either way.
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Ahahaha!!!! Reminds me of me! I always got my 45 ready! Lol! Love this and it flows really smoothly... Kinda sounds like a rap song... Or maybe country...
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