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Passing On ...

One leaf
lingered longer
tenaciously clinging
winter kissed her - set her ablaze
she died

© 2009 Joy A. Burki-Watson

Author notes

there's always that last one to go!

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15
  • Purrsanthema
    November 16
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    Congratulations! It couldn't happen to a finer poem! I'm gazing out my window at the same!


  • pixiestix gold member
    November 13
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    Congratulations on your gold, Joy.

    There's such a beautiful sadness lingering in your well chosen words.

  • ea silver member
    November 7

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    ah, how beautiful and sad. Your cinquain is full of emotion and life!


  • fiona8 silver member
    November 7
    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations on a lovely cinquain.


  • azure85 gold member
    November 7

    Edit | Reply
    A lovely look at that last leaf, and the emergence of winter upon the autumn scene. A great use of the cinquain form for these thoughts, thank you so much.


  • Legend silver member
    November 7
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    Short sweeet and wonderful I love it


  • myriad-dark
    November 7

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    last, but not least...

    a beautiful & thoughtful write, 'j' loved the line: "winter kissed her - set her ablaze" Worthy of the gold my ever spinning in infinity friend... 'd' (david)


  • leo2
    November 7

    Edit | Reply
    And you do Cinquains too! Yep, life in a twenty-two syllable microcosism and well done I might add. Good luck in the contest.

    Sincerely,
    Leo Long


  • humblpye gold member
    November 6

    Edit | Reply
    Tenaciously clinging...how very true,
    a beautiful and poignant poem Joy

    I have a friend accross the sea, the last words he spoke to me; 'When those before us have gone it will be our time'

    Your poem reminds me
    Jhn


  • Yemassee gold member
    November 5

    Edit | Reply

    "She died." Pointed personification.

    And the question is, was she (I'd rather talk people than leaves) better off for leaping at the chance for passion though it blazed and died, or would she have been better off where she was, tranquil, green, not having experienced the beauty of that blaze?

    You certainly suggest that she wasn't and my experiences tell me it's better not to have loved than to have loved and lost. I think. I'm still not sure actually what i think. I do have fond memories despite having burned up in a sort of Hell.

     

    But generally I find I do best when I don't entertain the subject. Ah, the blessedness of not being currently ablaze.


  • taylorndncar gold member
    November 5

    Edit | Reply
    nicely-done with the cinquain and it reads so well! hope you win the contest!


  • paul claxton
    November 5
    Edit | Reply
    great


  • Mirthryl
    November 5

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    Lovely imagery and description of the season through the portrai of a single leaf.


  • Sunshine Always
    November 5

    Edit | Reply
    Ah Joy, all things pass with time and as one door closes another surely will open. Yet to life we cling...Excellent my friend...mal


  • lonestar silver member
    November 5

    Edit | Reply
    I don't know, Joy, it sounds to me like that last one was a survivor, clinging to life, or struggling to stay alive. I thought it was sad, really. I know life will continue to spring forth and carry on, but it's like when one person passes away, a newborn life take's their place. I thought it very deep and emotional. Thanx for the great write.
    ~steve~

1 - 15 of 15