called mother.
heard her
distant voice
got afraid
and cried
told her
i dreamt
she was
a bear
but she
was
somewhere
else.
cried
some more.
didn't tell her
i was scared
that i wanted
maternal
comfort.
but there's
not much
c o m f o r t
in cancer.
tried to be
s t r o n g.
but
broke down in tears
and immediately called
the closest mother i could
think of:
pat.
her sweet genuine giggle
stopped my salty lament
and i made plans for a
sunday lunch, said normal
things, told her about
schoolwork and laundry.
Author notes
i am a tornado of emotions. i miss my family like an amputee misses their phantom ligament.
i try so hard to be hard. steel. fairly flexible. but metal doesn't move, and i have to reach.
blah blah poety poetry
oh, say what you mean
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Superb Plus +
A fine write, indeed. You have expressed your thoughts quite well, with very good imagery. I've had friends pass away with cancer. Thanks for sharing. -
i know how it feels to be closer to a mother figure that isn't your mother.
keep strong.
peace to all ~flight
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baby baby call me too!
i can be your mama. or just a shoulder to cry/laugh/drool/rub your face on.
i love you.
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can we hang out saturday? or do you work?
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College is hard. You should check out Trevor Hall's music and buddhist/ sufi/ hindu texts... being a lit major and not a doctor that's really all I can reccomend. I hope you get really happy again soon (smile).
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i've actually been fairly happy today. i just needed to hear her voice. even if it meant screwing up my good mood.
missing is like a constant ache, it's there even when i am so so happy.
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