Whisper...
Upon my deafened ears,
Seducing me away from this night of tears,
My vision is fading,
My breath has been slowing,
My deafened ears are unhearing,
Silence and you surround me,
Awaiting me in the circle of pheonix nests,
Your breath still carresses my cheek,
Your whisper remains ringing in my ear,
My feet float below me,
Drawing me unconsciously to you,
Your cooling dark wind voice,
Settles inside me,
The circle comes to meet me,
I am among your prescence,
Again,
I feel your breath in my ear,
My unspoken wish against my heart,
'Home, home, home, home,'
Matching the beat of my slowing heart,
And you understand,
You understand,
You embrace me,
And the light seeps through,
The blackened tarp,
And I awaken to your unseen whisper,
The song that started to sing in my heart,
The rays of your sunshining greatness,
Warms my face,
You whisper loud enough for me to learn,
Your name,
"Happiness"
Author notes
This is the first poem I've published on this site. It was first written on the story/poem/poll/quiz site Quizilla.com and then moved to here.
What It Is About:
It is about a girl living in a never-ending darkness (depression) that stretches on and on and day by day she hears a whisper beckon to her. When she finally follows it into the darkness, she comes where there are pheonix nests (the pheonix symbolizes death and rebirth). She is among the prescence of the whisper and she has a silent wish to go 'home' to the happiness in the living world. The whisper hears her silent wish and embraces her and she awakens to the world as if she was sleeping all that time. She then hears the whisper loud enough to realise its name. Its name was, like the poem said, happiness.
What Inspired It:
This poem, like quite a few other of my poems, was inspired by song lyrics. The lyrics that inspired this poem were those from Late Night Alumni's "The Sunrise Comes Too Soon".
"Sunrise following our goodbyes,
Following the night like you,
Disappeared too soon,
But it stays,
Hear it in the morning waves,
Spinning from the night with you,
Underneath the half moon,
Close my eyes,
And you'll still be here with me,
Close my eyes,
The sunrise comes too soon..."
- Dream Scars group list • next in list
What exactly did you think about this poem? How did it make you feel? What did you think was going on in the poem?
Comments
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Much appreciated for the comment. I'll make sure to read and comment on others poetry as well.
P.S. I don't think I'll need much help. I've gotten pretty well adjusted to this site in just two days.
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Welcome to Allpoetry!
I think that this is amazing. You have a great grasp of vocabulary and your words seem to caress the reader... Your explanation on the inspiration and the story of the piece is also really well done.
I don't think you need a comma at the end of each line, but that is just me
Welcome to Allpoetry
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Good job, keep writing.
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