morning builds up slowly
until the sun lingers just below the horizon
and then
s
p
i
l
l
s
overboard
and sneaks
through my window.
i like morning... not as a morning person
but as someone who just enjoys the fact that light does come back
even though it gets dark at 5:00PM.
just when you think that night will last forever
you open your eyes to find
that the sun has not betrayed you after all.
morning casts a soft grey light
that is easy on the flaws
so its ok to not be beautiful for once
or to not be rushing through seconds.
just breathe.
except that gets harder everyday
as the cold creeps down into my lungs
and takes refuge in my toes.
my body tries to reject it
with coughing fits and shivers
but all those accomplish
are whispers of swine flu.
I could always try breathing you in.
its like cough syrup without the medicinal cherry aftertaste
-soothing
and it's at times like those that i realize
that i like the colour of your eyes better than that of the morning sky
and that vitamin D is easier taken as a small white pill
than absorbed in the summer
and god do i ever miss summer
but you can be my vitamin D when the snow covers everything
i don't think a double dose will kill me.
happiness was a good thing last time i checked
even if it has to be forced down my throat 4 days a week.
with ten seconds before sunrise
waking up before my alarm doesn't seem so bad
except i hope that summer won't forget to wake up again
since winter blankets are thick
and might possibly drown out the robins.
Author notes
Prompt: Outside the [box]
Seasonal Depression (just for the brownie points 
)
and my self prompt which is the title. and also a DJ tiesto song
i think its pretty random....
but
i like it anyway
but i'm soooooooooooooooo not a morning person
A contest entry
- How clever are you? by Copy.
850 points, ended November 12, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Any ways i could have possibly make this any better?
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I like this write. I am not a morning person either, but what can ya do right? lol. My only suggestion would maybe switch to a darker purple background, I found this one a little hard to read with the white font. Thanks for sharing.
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i'm hesitant to change the background because of the feel i was going for.
thanks though.
i know what you mean.
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"but i'm soooooooooooooooo not a morning person" me too my friend, me too. I hate waking up in the morning it is just awful. Anyway, great job on this and best of luck to you in the contest
-Steve-
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thanks so much
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At first I was like ohwhatthefuck they're gonna ramble on, but it all ties together and makes perfect sense like two lines later. But the opening is confusing, and misleads the reader a little too much, it's not a smooth transition even though it ends up making sense.
It's like you gave background information, eh.
I love the detail, and how I could feel the same way.. this point of the year is in fact my Mount Everest,
"waking up before my alarm doesn't seem so bad"
That right there is sarcasm for everything I feel with seasonal depression, and I can feel so much with that line.
I could go on for a while with this, and I won't.
Great job, and with a little more editing it could potentially be superb!
Thank you and good luck.
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i see where you're coming from
i'll try to fix it before the contest ends
glad you liked it
-Kat
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and it's at times like those that i realize
that i like the colour of your eyes better than that of the morning sky
and that vitamin D is easier taken as a small white pill
than absorbed in the summer
and god do i ever miss summer
but you can be my vitamin D when the snow covers everything
i don't think a double dose will kill me.
happiness was a good thing last time i checked
even if it has to be forced down my throat 4 days a week.
- damn, just..damn.
Kat I loooooooooooooooove this!! [also like the title
]
it's so beautiful, and you portrayed a morning person wonderfully.. I should know, i'm the only non-morning person in my house >< But this is absolutely amazing.
Good luck in the contest love
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I think I write better now that I'm writing about a real person
hooray for autumn love ♥
thanks so much
i'm glad you like it
(the reason for the title is i plan on writing a poem for every prompt i came up with for that contest. I've done... 4? i think .... better get writing I guess)
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