I give up fighting
I give up wanting
I give up trying
I hate what I lead myself to feel, high expectations of what isn't real
To release the dreams I keep under lock and key, forcing myself to face the reality
AND I HATE THIS
The knots I tie myself into with all my bending over backwards to please
everyone but me
I want to vomit all the self hate, recriminations, loathing
spit it out like some repellent half digested food
I MAKE MYSELF SICK!
and I cant find a cure to the ailment Ive discovered
cant kill it
cant stop it
cant slow it down
there isn't an antidote
no miracle drug
no cure for love
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