Fetch

There’s only so much a poor dog owner can do
when his Fido is totally trained to bark and attack,
then just gets the extra urge to snarl, growl and chew
and decides any butt or pair of balls is the perfect snack.

So the city council really had to draw the line somewhere
make sure those owners didn't let things get totally littered,
requiring them to clean up any bloody, shredded underwear,
leaving people missing hunks of flesh even more embittered.

Now you have to carry an official chuck meat scooper
or face a fine and risk being chained to your special Rover,
which will be enforced by a duly sworn State trooper
who’ll make sure doggie gnaws and gives you an ass makeover.

Course during any time a female is known to be in heat
you told to avoid the choice of wearing shorts,
unless you’re a kinky broad looking for a canine treat
with screwing poochies your idea of outdoor sports.

In which case you have to lick the cum from the dock
so you don’t risk a ticket for mutt squirting exhibition,
then be sure that dog doesn’t use shins for his cock,
plus they will tax you for the using his juice as nutrition.

Pier is now safe to walk without having to step on bits of flesh
so tourist can enjoy the scenery without teeth marks on behind,
no more worrying about hospitals treating bite wounds so very fresh
even safe from rare risk of rabbis making visitors lose their mind.