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shine

 

 

 

 

I held tiny stars in my hand

turned them over in awe,

and reverence

believed somehow I'd shine too

if I carried them close.

 

 

 

I dreamed of freefalling,

without a net. Without grace-

in time and space,

all that makes the heavens.

There, an outline of a hand

to catch me when I landed. 


 

 

 

I closed my eyes and made a wish

once again I was a child.

Gathered flowers in the pines,

scattered dust in summoned wind;

 

knew the sacredness

of nothing.

 

With all my heart,

 

 

                I believed. 

Author notes

"..and the nights are still there, and the winds that move through the trees and across many lands; everything in the world of Things and animals is still filled with happening, which you can take part in; and children are still the way you were as a child, sad and happy in just the same way - and if you think of your childhood, you once again live among them, and the grown-ups are nothing..."

 

Rainer Maria Rilke-from Letters to a young Poet. (5).

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Comments

1 - 25 of 25

  • Aribeth
    November 16
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    Great Poem

    One that definately was worth putting in featured. Well Done

  • msjuicytech
    November 16
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    "I closed my eyes and made a wish

    once again I was a child.

    Gathered flowers in the pines,

    scattered dust in summoned wind;

    knew the sacredness

    of nothing.

    With all my heart,

    I believed. "

    This is beautiful. It speaks to the innocence of a child.. when life was so much more simplier.. and there were no worries or stress. Oh how I do long for those days again.


  • Debra A Baugh gold member
    November 16
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    Edit | Reply
    inspiration is flowing from this piece written with the most sacred thought of all.....with all my heart, I believed (I believe).....I too believe....without God there would nowhere to turn......gr8 read well-written.....we all have our childlike tendencies in us......God Bless......Love Peace & Harmony

  • MoonlightStars gold member
    November 11
    Edit | Reply
    Amazing work. loved the whole thing. All of it stands out. Keep going.


  • Auburn Sunrise gold member
    November 6

    Edit | Reply
    The only suggestion I have is: PUBLISH THIS!

    It is awe-inspiring. So beautiful and perfect. I absolutely love the imagery. I can imagine it, like a movie playing in my mind. Thank you for sharing!


  • Beautiful-N-Broken silver member
    November 6

    Edit | Reply
    This is a truly amazing and beautiful write. You did a terrific job writing this and it flows very well. Thanks for sharing this and good luck in all you do. Keep on writing.


  • Disturbed Prodigy
    November 5

    Edit | Reply
    i am without words, here. this was without a doubt one of your best, there are a lot of images in my head as i read this, it was wonderful, keep it flowing.


  • ZachP silver member
    November 5

    Edit | Reply
    from the very first stanza to the last words,
    you had my eye and my heart invested in this poem
    and I was happy to follow along for the journey.

    *sigh* material indeed

    thank you for sharing this.
    You are a most amazing poet.

    My best,
    Zach Estel.


  • awannabepoet
    November 5

    Edit | Reply
    And so it was that the truth was laid down deep into the hearts of children for grown-ups lose everything and life just becomes that which it was never meant to be.

    Let the wind rustle through the trees, that it may stir up memories of a time when things were pretty and love was always a possibility.


  • Poetic-Theorem gold member
    November 5

    Edit | Reply
    jin
    I read your piece, and I reflect on my own life..chronic pains, depression, migraine, daily panic attacks, hardships, etc..all of which is overwhelming creating a perpetual domino effect or Catch 22..perhaps I should close my eyes and think like a child and become a shining star that does not fall..it just sheds light and beauty creating a serene mood..Ok david will shut the hell up now

    Your writes are always incredible and touches my soul in so many ways
    I must side with C. below "Shit I loved this don't touch it!!!"
    David


  • ShaShay
    November 5

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful. I love reading your poems for the sheer beauty you give to the words. You know how to turn a phrase in ways I only wish I could. But then, I'm just a country girl in the presence of such talent. I can't find one thing that you should change. ((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))
    Sharon


  • tara wilson gold member
    November 5

    Edit | Reply
    so beautiful!


  • Malabu
    November 5

    Edit | Reply
    stars sometimes are meaningless...and in most cases they just keep company with the moon...
    and sometimes i wonder where they go after the night passes by
    then there are those times
    when I see deeper the naked glow and my eyes cling to them as though nothing else exist for me to cling too...
    like love
    like her
    like me
    they dont fall...just fade away


    • JinSays gold member
      November 5
      Edit | Reply
      your comment is a lovely poem. That's a fine way to start my day. What a lovely day its going to be. Thank you kind sir.
      love,
      jin


  • Cup-a-Joe
    November 5

    Edit | Reply
    This make me believe also. Thanks for the beauty you write , this morning. I love it.

    Joe


  • poet2angels gold member
    November 5

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful...
    I love everything you write...

    I am glad I stopped in here today and chose this poem out of all the thousands that I could have picked to read ....

    Lynda


  • Pure Thought silver member
    November 4

    Edit | Reply
    I'm with Chez on this one.
    This is one of the best from a really good poet. Love the feelings you created.


  • Cannonsfire
    November 4

    Edit | Reply
    Shit I loved this don't touch it!!! C

  • Rowan gold member
    November 4

    Edit | Reply
    Oh. this was so breathtakingly good.
    I would end it at, with all my heart
    though. Use the last line for the title.
    Just my opinion. Love reading you.


  • Thomas Scott gold member
    November 4

    Edit | Reply

    good stuff

    Tight, spare, vivid and so real.
    Every stanza rang a bell for me, a familiar bell, reminded me of something I once felt or knew.
    Oh, to get back to that place, the last two lines.
    Thanks for this.

    Tom


  • Rose Angel gold member
    November 4

    Edit | Reply
    How you have taken Rainer Rilke's quote!
    I love your opening line...It captures the attention with the gentleness "holding stars in my hand"...All the way through you focus on the innocence of a child, right to the very end...and of course I see you there and myself...There is always within us the child of wonder that never ages....Precious words! All the best in the contest! sis


  • glenn shannon silver member
    November 4

    Edit | Reply
    i never fully gave up being a kid i love the simple joys and games we played and this was damn beautiful Jin so refreshing and devine bless you made me say aweeeeeee so beautiful to be a child in sprit and soul; love glenn xo


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    November 4

    Edit | Reply
    I felt child-like and free just reading it!

    This is simply divine hun!



  • Randomly Beautiful
    November 4

    Edit | Reply
    Oh Jinny, this is gorgeous! I do have two suggestions...

    the last line in the first stanza might flow better if you just end it at close, removing enough. Also, maybe re-word put me right back up again. It stopped the flow a bit.

    However, this is stunning. I love the images, the nostalgic longing, all of it.

1 - 25 of 25