There comes a point,
When you have to accept who you are,
When you have to come to the realisation,
And ask yourself the question.
Can you be that person or not,
And I can you live with that.
All actions are coincidental
When our words alone,
Are enough for us all.
To be that now as it maybe, in that moment,
What seconds before,
Felt like an eternity.
We fall down only to reach again,
To dare ourselves once more,
Into the grasp of uncertainty,
Only did we know.
We could never hope to be,
Only to realise,
What we could be,
If not we overcame.
Those minutes of precious thought,
In our hour of sleeping contempt.
We could be that content of reason,
That advent of proposed fortune.
We advanced,
A shined margin of fury,
Down the crucible lines,
We rallied wholeheartedly,
We committed ourselves in jest,
Only to silence are fears.
We where that aged youth,
A time gone forth, Retreated in are wake
We where those fallen keepers,
Of tomorrows inclining joy.
A contest entry
- Prewrites. by Antebellum.
400 points, ended November 14, 207 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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wonderfully written you made me feel every word from beginning to end i loved this write keep on writing and good luck in the contest!
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it's a nice poem...could have made it better !!! keep it up !!!
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I like it the way it is sometimes to clean it up as they would take away the words you have been trying to say.. I love the fact that we are aged youth and fallen keeps to tomorrow's inclining joy.. love the message and the presentation Hugs always Angel♥
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Thanks angel
I cleaned it up before you read it so I think it reads a bit better. I wrote a while ago..so never got around to re-reading until now
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well no wonder i thought it was perfect hun LOl hugs always♥
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The underlying sentiment is timeless and refreshing both. It could be cleaned up, as Sharon said, but I won't soon forget the message.
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I like the message this write has. You may want to re-read it and clear up a few spots where things don't seem quite clear.
[And I can you live with that,]
******************************************
[When are words alone,
Are enough for us all]
Not picking, just trying to help. We all have times we get so into what we are writing that we confuse words and such. I wish you well. You have a good write going here.
Sharon
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Had to
read this a couple of times. But It is a good write with lots to say. But I believe it doesn't work in a centered format. If this were left aligned it would read better and I believe the punctuation would work better as well. A solid opening stanza though.
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wow... i have few words to describe how good this was, and i seem to have used them all up... i don't know how else to say this, it's better then every other poem ive seen you do^.^ i like it alot, lol. you're soo brilliant, death
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