survey- It's a new day

1.) What kind of music do you like? Why?
I like all kinds of music if the lyrics make me feel something, but my favorites are metalcore and emo or alternative.
I like metalcore because it gets your blood circulating and your heart pumping, and the lyrics are like my soul set on fire.
I like emo because I am a very emotional person, and I like anything that makes me think and feel.
I like alternative for the same reasons, and because sometimes I need the lyrics to be more clear, as opposed to metalcore which has some screams and growls.

2.) Do you ever feel it's necessary to hurt other people? Why/why not?
I believe sometimes we have no other choice but to hurt other people in some way, because not everyone is going to agree with our views and our goals in life. Someone out there is going to try to take us down, and we can't just stand there and let them push us around because we need to take care of ourselves as well.
I think people should be a little more considerate for others though.

3.) What makes you smile?
The people that love me and care about me make me smile.
The feeling I get after I write a poem, story or short story, and someone reads it and likes it, that makes me smile.
Seeing my family just being a family, even though we aren't always so close, that makes me smile.

4.) What are your goals? Why?
My goals in life are to realize how much my own life is worth living, without being held down with my own internal demons, and without staying stuck in my haunting past.
I want to make something of myself. I don't want to be just another face in the crowd. I want to make a mark on the world. I want to write stories for other people to read, and I want to publish a few poems. Most importantly, I want to learn how to be happy and proud of who I am, and stay that way.

5.) Do you hate anyone? Why/why not?
I don't think I truely hate anyone. Hate is a very strong word. Most people that deserve to be hated, deserve even less than that because hate means they are still getting the attention they want.
Even after what my grandfather has done to me, and how much it's ruined me, I will never truely hate him. I hate what he did, but not who he was, and somehow in my heart, I have forgiven.

6.) What makes you cry?
Seeing and realizing how much life can change in a short period of time makes me cry. I like change but I don't like losing people. Everyone I meet in my life affects me in one way or another.

7.) When was the last time you felt beautiful? Why'd you feel that way?
The last time I felt beautiful was when Mike (my boyfriend) was holding me and looking me straight into my eyes, and he said with an honest expression, that he could never go back to his life without me. I've never believed anyone else who has said anything close to that, but I believe him.

8.) What are your opinions on sex?
Sex is something in our nature. We like it, and we need it.
After being molested when I was younger, I saw why people do it so much, but it doesn't appeal to me that much anymore.
We need it, but in our culture, we take advantage of others with sex. We use it to get what we want and we use it to hurt people.

9.) How 'bout religion?
My mom is super religious, and I've never understood why. So many things in my life, have made me question God's existence, and though I have been confirmed, I still don't know.
My nana died for 33 seconds one night last April. My parents said her eyes had actually rolled back into her head, and they saw nothing but white. That was a scary time for me, and for her life, I prayed to God. My mom used her faith to keep hope for herself and all of us.
The doctors were able to revive my nana, and after that I started to believe.
But there are still some days when I doubt existence of anything.

10.) What is safe?
Safe is knowing no matter what nothing can happen to you or anyone you love. It's a good feeling, but in this world it is not one we feel often.

11.) What's the most important thing to you? Why?
The most important thing to me is writing. It's the only thing that keeps me alive and breathing. Without it, I would've offed myself a long time ago. It's always there for me, and it gives me a sense of accomplishment, unlike anything else in this life.
It's a healthy way for me to let the demons out of my dusty mind, where they threaten to take me over constantly. I need writing in my life, to help me find the answers, and to save my soul from the contamnation that the world offers.

12.) Are you happy?
I'm still searching for happiness. I believe it has found me, but I'm still not completely happy. Though lately, I've never felt better.

13.) What's your worst fear? Why?
My forst fear is losing my will. My will to live, and my will to create. I am nothing without my writing, and if I ever give up writing, I will give up on life.

14.) What fufills you?
The words and imagery floating around in my head constantly, and the way it trickles onto the page like magic, gives me the best feeling of fufillment in the world.