Cold Insanity
As I peer into my soul,
A dark, bloodstained soul,
I only find these conflicts,
These conflicts that feel like a sharp stab…
A pain that’ll never dissolve.
The hot tears that stream down my face,
That no one will ever see.
I yell at out for help and in pain,
But those screams go unheard.
Strangely, it doesn’t matter.
This cold fire,
That rages inside of me,
It burns.
No matter how much I want to forget,
It feels like,
Cold insanity.
Author notes
Hi everyone
My name is Sarah. This is my first poem. i wrote it the other day in math class...
Maybe not the best place to write poetry but still.
Just so you know:
Flames are bad, constructive criticism is preferred
Review and get a make believe cookie!
Thank you
-Sarah
What did you think?
Comments
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wow this is good nice work truly amazing
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Welcome to AllPoetry!
I really like the idea of the cold fires burning, I think that maybe if you have more imagery describing them it might make this a stronger piece in terms of grabbing the reader
but that is just a suggestion, and I really like what you have come up with, it is excellent for a first poem
Welcome to the site, I hope that you enjoy your time here at AllPoetry!
Polly
Site Greeter -
Welcome to All Poetry~
Very good descriptives, Sarah! I like the form used, although since it
is free verse, I'd left align the format. Also, I would lift as much
of the punctuation as possible so this poem can 'ascend'.
Thank you for posting, and also for the treat.
As from one
to another, glad you're here.
Warmly, CookieZeal/Site Greeter
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great job with this one sarah!! welcome to AP! I hope you find the site encouraging and helpful.
Peace and light,
Kendal
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