2. I am five feet short and I love it. I'd hate to be tall. Plus I get to save up to 15 dollars on my jeans by fitting into the kids section. With womens/juniours jeans and pants even the extra smalls need to be hemmed and slip off me. They should make clothes for people inbetween kid sizes and adult sizes.
3. I'm naturally a pessimist. But now a self-taught optimist with pessimistic tendencies. lol
4. I don't have a traumatic, or interesting story on how I got there. I just did. Maybe the way he yelled added to the cracks, maybe the way he said that I was fat added to the split. Maybe his inconsisty in emotion added to the fear. Maybe self belittlment, and constant tears seeping into the pillow brought me there. Somehow I ended up broken with only one possible thing to fix me.
5. I am fixed, but break too many times to count.
6. Sometimes I don't want to be fixed, being broken is an excuse to yourself and the world as to why you aren't good enough. And for someone to say I love you to me, and it's home base. Sometimes I miss home base as bad as it was.
7. As my mother says she is the queen of procrastination and I am the princess. And that title is beginning to cost me everything.
8. I've been dancing since I was three, but no one would ever look at me and say she is amazing. They probably think I'm an idiot. haha
9. I have fallen in love with that gooey stuff in Baby Ruth bars. Whatever it is, it's yummy.
10. I count how many grams of fat I roughly take in. While I'm supposed to be believing that I am perfect and beautiful just as I am. I do mostly, but the whole nutrition fact thing screams no so much.
11. I remember every nutrition label I look at. I can tell you what different brands of pretzel's nutritons facts are and where they differ. It's a patheticly odd gift.
12. My personatlity type in the Myer-Briggs Jung test is ISFJ. Introverted Sensing Feeling Judging. And I'm proud of it.
13. I have fingers that are hyper extended. I can pull them back really far. And my when I put my hands down on a table I don't put them flat I push them up onto sort of I guess you could say ball of my hand. I never realized this wasn't normal until a year ago. My wrist also goes back father than is considered normal.
14. I have one and a half double jointed arms. One is more double jointed than the other.
15. History is my best subject. It's so easy for me, it's all one big story and for me stories are easy to remember in detail.
16. I feel naked when I forgot to put my ring back on the rare occasion that I take it off.
17. I like taking personality tests, it makes me feel good when some test someone invented a few decades ago can pinpoint me. Even though I don't want anyone to be able to pinpoint me.
18. My ennagram type is number 2 most days.
19. I use my ADD as an excuse to myself, rather than a reason way too much.
20. There's only one person I trust fully. He knows who he is.
21. Sometimes I dream about her, and call her a name that I have never called her in my life. (No, not a bad name. Like a nickname.) [And I miss her.]
22. I like the dreams where she is in it. I wish we lived closer to each other.
23. I want to be a pshycologist or counselor when I grow up. I only recently figured out that annoying question they ask you in first grade, what do you want to be when you grow up? I never knew the answer, everyone else seemed to have it all figured out.
24. I'm afraid of not being ready.
25. I used to cry before my birthday, afraid that I wasn't ready to be 10, etc. I didn't act like everyone else and it scared me.
26. It no longer scares me. If I acted like everyone else at school, I'd be calling myself obnoxious.
27. I once told my mom when I was seven that I wanted to work at a gas station when I got older because I liked the way it smelled.
28. I almost ran away from home when I was nine, and threatned to do it a million times before.
29. I wish I could be like I was when I was twelve, school wise.
30. My favorite TV show is Numb3rs.
31. I like the way my toes crack when I press them curled under on the floor.
32. I am very observant. And will notice your patterns and mannerisms in ways that no one else does. If I know you well enough I can tell by the way you walk when you are five feet away how you are today. I know what you are going to do just by your facial expression. People are always suprised at how much I know about them just by watching.
33. I can remember meaningless information that is important to me. I can remember exact conversations from four years ago if they made an impression on me. I can remember what Jackie was wearing on Valentine's day two years ago. It's part of my personality thing, apparently I'm not the only one who can do it.
34. Too bad that remembering thing doesn't work with school stuff too.
35. I burned my finger making rice today. I touched the stove to see if I turned on the right circle thing. Smart, I know.
36. I pick at my fingers, and they bleed by the end of the school year. Then they heal during the summer, unless something makes me pick at them again. Usually nerves, but not in the typical sense.
37. It is six days until November 10. Then it will be a year, and I'm scared when I really should be happy.
38. I am afraid of being typical.
39. But not being slightly typical also scares me.
40. Apparently I am a missable person. I don't agree.
41. I have new sneakers, but I always end up wearing my old and dirty ones. I can't let them go.
42. Everything to me is new. Even though I am oldish, but new.
43. It is scary and amazing at the same time.
44. The chocalate I'm eating will come back to haunt me.
45. I wish I could believe that we are all made of stardust because it is the most beautiful thing I have ever heard.
46. I am my own disease.
47. At times I think Mexico was a dream. It was just too amazing.
48. 3:10 pm. School would be ending now. And I still haven't started my homework on my day off. This will result in tears later.
49. The first time someone said I was pretty, I cried. But I still don't believe them. No one really believes that they are pretty anyway.
50. I'm just a fool with a pocketful of questions and a glued smile. Glued doesn't imply superficiality in that sentence.
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