You say "I love you dear with all my heart"
What i hear is"You dirty slut i wanted a good girl"
I dance and I prance doing the tricks that make you smile
Watching while your eyes look at the girls you seek and desire
When i met you i was the girl next door
You told me to grow up and not be innocent
Made me think i was fat or ugly
So i did the drugs and made myself thin
left my friends so i would have more time for you
You say your my dream guy..
this seems more like a nightmare..that i cant get out from.
Author notes
Thought this would be good.
- The Black Book group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Every Girl's Dream Guy....... by darell.
500 points, ended November 12, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what do you think of it i think i maybe should change it
Comments
-
Damn...
this takes my shot at the contest and blows it clean out of the water
nice work doing that too my the way
and nice interpretation for it too ^^
-
Jazzy.
Very raw write.
...I am somewhat taken aback.
May I make a suggestion, respectfully?
The composition is very well done, in it's entirety.
...however your final line...
May I?
rather than "that I can't get out from "
possibly: "and I (will not) (cannot) escape."
or add "under" to the end of your line.
?
The ending was the only let down for me.
Clappies.
...because you put up with my crap.
-
Poignant
I feel you baby, but its the same old story.
Whenever you give over yourself to someone
completely, they just fuck over you.
Lesson, never give over your power.
Be you. If thats not possible, then you
should never ever sell yourself short.
Enjoyed the raw in your face reality
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