drinking half and half
gettin blasted then crash
cause in a flash i be gone with a dash
with a raspy gaspy tone
i'm full blown
home grown
do i detect a tone of hope?
nope...
not yet...
not ready....
not me....
there's sumthin i'll never be,
and that's complete.
it's a feat of strength like hercules
feverish temperment boiling like mercury
i see zodiac signs that i'm outta my mind
as i find i intertwine fantasy and reality with my daily terminology.
the complexity of natural selection gots me vexin
like a hex from an old hag in drag
while she's draggin on a lucy.
those little white cigs mixed with sticky icky green
yeah, that used to be my scene
that is, til the anxiety got the best of me.
i became a paranoid android like radiohead
it fed into my fears over the years
so now i try to steer clear.
oh boy whadda you know
yep gotta go
far from home i roam
on different planets and dimensions
i like to keep em guessin what all my rhymes mean.
but how?
shit!! they unknown even to me!
nothin but confusion
in the illusion of life and reality
i live my life recklessly
until eventually it catches up to me
then it's D.O.A
dead on arrival
survival of the fittest
decimation from the sickness
my rhymes still continue to be the illest.....
Author notes
A semi-completed piece from the initial Freestyle 10/30. The gradual evolution from the freestyle to a more structure work.
What did you think
Comments
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Wow, this is really powerful,full of imagary that paints a picture in the mind eye.Know what you mean about 'substances'causing anxiety.I used to take something to deal with anxiety,all medically approved!(though not the amount I took)but after long term use its side effect is that it actually causes anxiety!Which it did-so I'm with you on the steer clear bit.In terms of the poem,you put across your frustration at feeling confused so well "...nothin but confusion...in the illusion of life and reality"In terms of leaving constructive criticism about a move from freestyle to structure-I can't.To be truthful I don't understand the finer points of poetry,I just Know what I like and I liked this.Montey
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i like the way this peice is evolving and im actually geeting to understand it now, i really started to understand more as i hit line 18, "the complexity of natural selection gots me vexin" then i rolled with it, theres lines in therre that i can relate with, i like the way you have taken a total free syle which you have written in a few mins and then started to construct it, its a really good excercise that perhaps i really should try for myself. im glad i understand it more too now lol
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