You shake them back and forth,
rumbling pulses of an acorn seed,
those moments you were.
Muffled bass from inside, faint pat
on finger pads, but so
hard and quick through the hollow.
A longing to revisit and loose
the pinions of your own protection,
those moments you were
too weak or too strong
to open.
A contest entry
- Your Voice by silverscent.
700 points, ended November 15, 20 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - CELEBRATE 17 NOVEMBER- FOR AWARD-WINNING POEMS OF THE PAST YEAR by Vera Rich.
750 points, ended December 2, 90 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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I like this one much better ...
than the first one I read. It is insightful without being maudlin or morose. It deals with a subject that is universally shared by all sentient beings, I suspect, as everyone has had the experience of looking back on past situations and the results of those situations.
All in all, a good job.
Happy Holidays.
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I was immediately intrigued by the title of this poem. Your first two and final two lines hold a depth and breadth not often found in writing about sorrow. Their impact was forceful and caused one to pause in reflection upon the images you evoked with this fine piece. Congratulations on receiving the gold in silverscent's contest, and good luck in Vera Rich's contest, Poet.
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Well deserved gold. The eternal question . . . where does outside end and inside begin? Odd it seems we must look inside to see what is outside more clearly. Odd too that we try to more clearly define the difference between the two as if somehow we can remove ourselves from the world . . . which is a way of removing ourselves from ourselves. It is not the world that threatens, but only the one looking back in the mirror. Now, if that makes any sense . . .
What an excellent write! Stunning. Your voice has grown so rich and clear. No one writes like you do.
Garrison
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Congrats on the gold. This beautiful piece deserves it.
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Thank-you Max.
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I adore this. You have a true and unique voice, and you portray it here effortlessly and clearly.
For a concise write, it pacts quite a punch.
Thanks for entering.
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Thank-you very much for the trophy - I'm happy you liked the poem.
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Brilliant Penning...
I had to read THIS profound write twice, your poem, 'Elegy' is very thought-provoking... My best wishes to you in the contest!! Keep it flowing, Poet... And take care!! 
Peace Always,
Cyn
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Another thing you're good at is knock-out endings. Fantastic.
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