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Emotional Unconsciousness II

Intoxicated imprisonment;
Self-made holding cell
impervious to peripheral manipulations.
Encrusted with the filth of defilement,
I stand bare in my frozen crypt.
Desensitized to the monstrosities of man,
A vacant heart beating rhythmically
to the cries of young babes dying.

No fear. No remorse.

Numbness crawling down my body,
like worms across a decomposing corpse.
Bounded in chains by the shadows of past ruination,
understanding of light escapes me.
Hollow eyes of alabaster,
no longer insightful,
for the darkness has sucked bare the color.

Troubled soul seeps through fortification,
lingering steadily in deadened mind.
Tattered and bloodied innocence,
with hair dripping death into my mouth,
awakens the past.

Twisting and turning, combating the chains.
Wrists and ankles slashed,
I struggle to feel for the key.
Release me from this emotional unconsciousness.

She haunts me.
She reminds me.
I am dead.

Author notes

P a l o s z o o

Night Castle CD one:
8. Another Way You Can Die- Dark
Trans-Siberian Orchestra

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • savemysoul
    November 11

    Edit | Reply
    i really liked your ending, its depressing, which for me is a plus. i love dark writes. good job and good luck. thanks for entering.

    -- jordan.


  • Peripatetic gold member
    November 10

    Edit | Reply
    Emotional unconsciousness does not equate with being emotionally dead in this poem. The cell in which the spirit is trapped is revealed at first, but it seems a cell as protective as it is restrictive. As the poem progresses, we see the soul rise from its perhaps self-imposed incarceration,struggling to break free of its own protective custody.

    We often speak of emotional isolation as being in a shell, but the poet envisions it as a cell, and not at all comfortable as consciousness returns. It may well require emotionally violent effort to break free to full participation in life when one has retreated so far into a cell so cold, deep and dark it may be likened to a frozen crypt.


  • Blue-Rose Beauty
    November 9

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, very nice dark right. I like the first stanza the best, and I like how you kept the death metaphor throughout the entire write. I liked the vocabulary in this, and it was a pleasure to read.

    Thanks for entering and good luck in my contest

    - Blue beauty


  • hershey101
    November 7
    Edit | Reply
    oops my bad I forgot.. thanks for entering my contest and good luck to you


  • hershey101
    November 7
    Edit | Reply
    Whoo that was amazing and very dark beautiful ! and I enjoy reading it Good Job!


  • Amera gold member
    November 5

    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully dark with vivid emotional imagery. This is a totally captivating read! Bravo!

    Love,
    Amera♥


  • X.brokenlover.X
    November 4
    Edit | Reply

    WOW!

    That was awesome! i loved the imagery and how descriptive you got with the words. Good luck in the contest


  • Ice Queen
    November 4

    Edit | Reply
    Nicely done. I liked this one and it fits with the original, or in my opinion it fits. Good luck to you in the contest, and keep up your good work.


  • Xianaria gold member
    November 4

    Edit | Reply
    Nicely done, Kim!
    And you said your muse was deflated

    Best wishes in the contest!

    ~ Tim

1 - 9 of 9