"Dog Day Afternoon"

Mister Hooper's an achiever---
He was once a wide receiver
who played for the Philadelphia Eagles.
He made a fortune playing poker,
but with a  love life, mediocre--
A lonely bachelor who owned a couple beagles.

There was transition in his life
when he took upon a wife
who was wealthy and now would share his name.
It came so easily to love her
and a pleasure to discover
that their interests were very much the same.

She was a 'Doggie' lover too
and, in fact, she owned a few
but her favorite was the 'Golden Retriever'.
They took their honeymoon vacation
filled with love and such elation--
The dog came too--She couldn't bear to leave her!

In the back seat, there it sat,
being lazy, spoiled and fat
as the Hooper's were driving to Vancouver.
They saw a rest stop on the way
on that bright and sunny day--
The dog's asleep and it's a struggle just to move her.

That's when they observed the sign
warning to guard their dog's behind
which insulted the taste of Mrs. Hooper!
Although, she understood its meaning,
she found it very much demeaning
to ever utilize a nasty 'Pooper Scooper'!

Dog walking are the 'Hoopers'
without a glove or  'Pooper Scooper'--
All the tourists stopped and watched them as they passed!
They watch these over-achievers
walking their overweight retriever
with a 'Cashmere Sweater' wrapped around its ass!