Factory outlet steel modern chairs and tables, sit so intrusive in a shoppers way.
(For a worn out ones convenience of course!)
And some time through out the day, you know there will be that "init" girl sat there. A dozen cheap bags of tatty stitched wear. The proud owner of the next "must have" collection.
You partake in a silent laugh with just the thought of it, drinking your food shopping stimulant. You know full well, when time has aged you, how much she will hate those "family photo's" her mother keeps. Preserved like this. Humiliation in permanent ink.
You sit in your comfortable and stable style. Your classic unique, "this is me" hairstyle. Happy to no longer feel that crazed edge, the tingle for something you can not have. That latest new hand bag. Your friends new boyfriend. That time has passed.
You sip, and you smile softly to no one but yourself.
You watch the animal kingdom that you are strangely related too. So many rushed lives whizzing right by you. Doesn't seem right you can be part of this?
Your last sip. No more smiling.
Still staring, never thinking or looking for faces that shock you. Awake from your daydreams, and thoughts you forget so quickly. But there is one today.
A snake among the pirate magpies. He looks so oddly out of place. You stair that extra split second for conformation or clarity.
Hair the colour and coarseness of salt and pepper, aging it's owners face, but not well. You know how he takes his coffee in bed after energy draining sex. You know that pizza topping he ordered specially, anchovy halves, and sweetcorn aplenty.
You know it is him.
The fact that he once was, once upon a time, a chime in your eye, makes it more terrifying to seem him, so totally unprepared. A change of faces. It prepares you both for what is to take place.
In the moments that have already been, you both are slipped back in time.
Wearing that red, revealing dress of yours, and hating the fact you both loved that dish you both cooked. The one served cold every time. Jealousy served fresh.
His blue eyes...
Your brown eyes...
They say your pre-pared speeches, long before you can both blink. The words you could not say yourself.
Your eyes tingle red
His eyes sink away
Yours orbs can sting his, with the words your eyes say..."Don't talk to me Ben."
Back come those treasure seeking magpies. Hunters of fame, fortune, and bargain buys, clattering loudly against there thighs. There appear to be more this time, as they sweep away something, that was once yours.
What you could still have if you hadn't of changed so much. Changed into that adult your happy to be. You changed from that child he was determined to mould. Now your just embarrassed it took this long to realise that.
But, in that secret place of yours, that still holds that sliver. That sliver of girlie untamed hate. You hope in that split second he saw you, he had to look twice. And he had to say "Who's she then?" looking my way. That beauty that seems so familiar.
Such a beautiful " Woman "
A contest entry
- Play Fair. by Walking Oxymoron.
2800 points, ended November 12, 5 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Ok, I'm liking this so far...
The 'innit' girl, resident chav with good purchased by our very own tax money...!
You have an interesting second half of that stanza... Particularly the last line.
That's pretty awesome.
Humiliation in permanent ink.
You desired your friend's new boyfriend? That must have been hard... I'm not sure I ever did... she always desired mine...and won! (Bitch.)
I like that you no longer feel the need to have the latest wear... It's a penniless existence, and if you can find that kind of peace, then congratulations to you.
I analyze people over coffee too (I presume you talk of coffee, or some related beverage...)
It's an intersting way to watch the world go by, unfortunately, doing that on a bad day means you more often see what you cannot have, rather that what you do have.
As you say
Your last sip. No more smiling.
Wow... I LOVED this stanza...
Wearing that red, revealing dress of yours, and hating the fact you both loved that dish you both cooked. The one served cold every time. Jealousy served fresh.
I identify with that more than you can probably know...!
Another interesting way to introduce the name...
Wow, also loved the ending! The ideal of well, we have a past, but I still want you to desire me, even though I'll never look your way again! Typical girly stuff, that. And whyever the hell not??
One thing, the last word should read 'Woman' as in singular. Just to drive the pint home.
You've written women, plural.
I loved how you used the title in your poem, that was awesome.
You managed to integrate every single aspect too, including the change aspect.
Incredible write here. -
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i'm so glad you liked this. i changed the women, to woman bit. god damn it i always get that wrong. i make the silliest mistakes, then again, my spelling has come along way from 3 years ago. you never could have read my work without spell check hahaha. i'm very happy you liked this, as i know your prose work is excellent too. thanks for the lovely comments
xxxx
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It is easy to tell here that you put your heart and soul into this write, and although long, it be an interesting read all the way through. I did notice some typos, ''stair'' = stare and twice that I see ''your'' = you're. Check stanza 7 and 18. There is so much going on in this poem, such imagery at a bargain store, the mirror of time on ones soul and so, so much more. Like where do I begin...well I'll just say awesome all the way through, yes indeed you have greatness here.
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Damn, another write that I can't compete with. I loved how you opened this up, you set the stage very well. This screams greatness, and is everything that I wish I could write.
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wow, thank you so much! i'm glad you liked xxxx
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I couldn't give this the comment it deserved on my phone..
I was like WOWEE when I read this, such mature vocabulary and I can see you put your all into this write huni.
SO many lines that I loved...
Love the people watching whilst sipping your drink... with me I love to people watch and imagine what their lives are like... I must judge more than I think I do but yes... this reminds me very much of myself... smiling softly to myself of my inner thoughts ... daydreams etc..
You know it is him... yes I have seen "him" a few times at cafes... and I wish he looks my way and thinks exactly what you wrote at the end of this too... showing how far we have come away and grown up... into something HE cannot mould or mess around with any longer...
its true his eyes do sink away LOL
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wow wow wow how the heck am i supposed to compete with that? Such grown up words n the style so different for you.....i picture wayne in this..... Wow amazing imagery too n love the use of that word jealousy xx goodluck.... Now im soooo stuck....
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thank you. i worked bloody hard on this one too. i don't think it is a goldy compared to the others woxy will probably get, but i tryed my hardest. i can not do much better than that. good luck to you too. but remember, this place aint big enough for the two of us hahahaha xxxx
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