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Fallen and Avenged

The leaves have fallen from their trees,
And I'm sitting here watching you leave,
My heart is screaming in pain, and then I Woke up
And saw your face.
Thaaaaank the heavens for my dreams,
Thaaaaank the world,
For what they've given me...
I dream about you and losing you-
And sweat away the night,
And then lucky me, I get to see you everyday and night.

I've faaaaaallen for a love so true.
I've faaaaaallen for a girl that was blue.
Now she's fixed my heart that was torn in two.
Love's been avenged and now I'm all me again.

hehe, it is the beginning of a song...

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Comments


  • taylorndncar gold member
    November 4

    Edit | Reply
    i hope, these words fit the music because it's word-heavy (too many unnecessary words). as a freeverse it works rather well, but you tried rhyming in the first two lines of the second verse. stick with freeverse or rhyme it all. keep this; it just needs a little work!


  • Papers
    November 4
    Edit | Reply
    Its an amazing feeling when someone has the power to do that. Very great write, keep up the wonderful work!


  • Syko Path
    November 4
    Edit | Reply
    awe i love this !


  • Dark-Ecanus27
    November 4

    Edit | Reply

    Good

    This is a good write, i think it sounds more like lyrics though otherwise, it has kind of an off flow if you try and read it as a poem. or at least it ends that way. the first part holds a good flow untill you get to the drawn out 'thaaaaank' then it sounds like a song. good write, and im glad that it was only a dream.