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Eyemage

Missing image
desperate stars find me

hidden her nails curled

in wheat finger strangles

 

                           my white skin parched

                           endless ink tapped black

                           scarred grayish dream blossoms

 

                                                                    far stretched out scrap

                                                                    grassy green thoughts lost

                                                                    angry eyes morning possibilities

 

find me invisible your touch

barren giggles seduced echoes

crow winged garbage scows

 

                                brown tints nature's hair lip

                                weave better battered words

                                lost beneath haloed red rays

 

                                                             And so begins another day,

                                                             any day which seems the same

                                                             to fatherless suns who linger

                                                            far too long within the darkness.

They learn to twist words

into fragments of life...organic origami....

flesh fluttered as if the wind

had muttered something holy.

Author notes

Image is the letter I've left unwritten, by nerdynotdirty@ deviantart.com

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • JinSays gold member
    November 30
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    Im glad I actually took the time to see this as it's laid out, instead of just breezing through it in a quick comment. This is absolutely inspiring. Scows? Made me raise an eyebrow, but in the overall scheme of it, doesnt really matter, does it? beautiful.
    love,
    jin


    • rrw gold member
      December 2
      ?
      Edit | Reply
      Hee! Glad you did take the time to read Eyemage. The stuff about the scows is really influenced by the huge Ravens out in the parking lot where I work that each morning throw huge bags of garbage out of the dumsters with their big black beaks searching for food. Went out to smoke as I wrote this piece and that stuck in my mind... sort of drifted into the poem. But nature is nature... and it seemed to fit the poem... in a way. Hee!


  • Swan song gold member
    November 20
    Edit | Reply
    A very awesome poem good luck!!!!!


  • poetryality silver member
    November 10

    Edit | Reply
    I feel a natural sway in your words and the presentation, the form, in which you've written these quintessential lines is exquisite! Each stanza is a poem within itself.

    These lines are a beauteous way to end this lovely work of words.

    "organic origami....
    flesh fluttered as if the wind
    had muttered something holy."

    I wish you well in this contest.


    Much Love & Respect ♥

    Renee


    • rrw gold member
      December 2
      ?
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks, PT, for your comments on Eyemage. Yeah, I think each "stanza" is in and of itslef a complete image. Sort of like Haiku. I find my life to be like a movie, a series of images thrown together, which make sense in a sort of Theatre of the Absurd sort of way.

      • poetryality silver member
        December 2
        ?
        Edit | Reply
        Ah ha! I knew this poem was worthy of merit. CONGRATULATIONS!


        Rdenee


  • Green Stars
    November 4

    Edit | Reply

    Shimmering

    Your poem shimmers like the wheatfield you see in the gorgeous picture..all your imagery glistens...eg....desperate stars find me ..this is so lovely and haunting...also these lines....grassy green thoughts... lost ...angry eyes morning possibilities...this makes me see in color and beauty....I also loved this stanza ...And so begins another day,
    any day which seems the same
    to fatherless suns who linger
    far too long within the darkness


    these lines are so dreamy and imaginative that I get lost in them...the very last line brought me shivers...a sign ,to me ,that a poem is excellent






    ..




    • rrw gold member
      December 2
      ?
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks, Green, for your detailed comment on Eyemage. It's always wonderful when the words connect with the reader. A lot of this was just random thoughts that came to mind as I looked at the pic, went outside to smoke a cigarette and watched "nature" do it's thing. The focus for this poem was on sound, creating the mood and feeling through abstract images. Again, I appreciate the time you took in reading and commenting.

1 - 9 of 9