A false note
in the symphony of her existence
destroys her happiness.
Doubt is the key factor
in her misery
and the question: Why?
Torn by sadness
she struggles for life,
sometimes rebellious,
then in a prayer.
Nobody can accept loss.
Hope for recovery
blows away in the wind,
making room for aquiescence.
Peace sets in her heart;
love in abundance.
Lakes have dried up.
The sun sets and disappears.
Shadows slowly cast themselves
upon her eyes...
then the night falls.
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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This is a well written poem that tells the story of a lonely person's movement from rebellion to acquiescence, presumably concerned with an illness without cure. Cleverly, you have avoided sentimentality, opting for implicit imagery rather than explicit. "The peace that sets in her heart" emanates from the courage that comes with the knowledge that "hope for recovery...has blown away". I find that her positive attitude before the end reflects her true, loving nature. Well done, Anna.
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Peace
On a warm sultry night there once was a man, walking alone who came upon a lovely poet. Did he acquiese? Of course. For the moment was right. And so shall it be poet. Well penned.
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How sad this poem is, it touched my heart, the lonliness and desperation of facing life alone with little hope of the joys of bygone days. Well written
Write On!
Dennis
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Thank you Dennis for the comment. I had initially written this poem in Dutch. It's about my aunt, her suffering and the acquiescence of it before her death. She was buried on September 18th 2009. I gave my parents the Dutch poem and since this is about my mother's sister, she read it quite often. When she told me a few weeks ago that she liked it more every time she read it, she gave me the best compliment I had ever gotten.
I will try to write more, but I have so many hobbies right now... I'll see what I can do.
Anna.
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Dear Anna,
I'm glad you recieved recognition from your mother for this thoughtful, caring poem.
I have one suggesttion, put the Dutch version in your author notes to stand along side the English version. It would be nice to see how they compare and also could be appreciated by the other Dutch Poets on this site.
Brother Dennis
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Thanks Dennis.
I have the Dutch version of this poem on my Dutch/Frisian site.
My name is there AmK. Look at the top of this main page.
Have a lovely day.
Anna.
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