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Adult Child

Locked into the trap of loyality
and lying to those I love
whilst making excuses for bad judgement
I grew up fast. Yet, emotionally still scared
I am the adult child of the addicts path
who judges herself harshly because she
could not save her mothers love. 

Aged 13 taking dad to AA 
because he could not make the journey alone
and yet he still pickled his liver until it failed.

I over react to the smallest change
and have no idea of normal relations
and hate myself for having fun
or feeling mad because it was not their fault,
thus finding myself attracted to addicts
who do to me all that I know.

Visiting dad in hospital everyday for 3 months
he had no idea who I was.  Detoxification hurts,
but 8 years on the monkey lost,

I hope he never goes back or gives up on life, like mum.



Author notes

Dad has been been free from booze for 8 years after being given two months to live, mum died last year from a heroin overdose but was an alcholic most of her life.

The picture reminded me of myself and my own battle with the drink because
when I drink, I drink to excess and you would think I wouldn't considering.

If you grew up with alcoholics try this link
http://www.adultchildren.org/

Much love and luck to you and your partner. x

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5
  • Fuzzyaob
    November 14

    Edit | Reply
    Wow i can relate to that so much, its plucks so many meomries for me, your words are very true.
    Its great.


  • LesbianOfLove
    November 11

    Edit | Reply
    Wow thats a really deep story. Thank you for sharing,that sounds so difficult to have lived through. I hope youre okay now or at least better. Great poem. Good luck in the contest!


  • AngelBellerose gold member
    November 11

    Edit | Reply
    freedom from the addiction is the best gift of all Love the way you penned this awesome and thank you for sharing well said hugs Angel♥


  • ParadoxVictory85
    November 7

    Edit | Reply
    Very serious and sad and heartwrenching at truthfully if it real and realistic if its imagined, buuut, the term monkey lost is hella funni!lol...with your positive support anything can be done.Good read!


  • Andi.
    November 4

    Edit | Reply
    thank you sweetheart, I'm pretty sure all alcoholics can relate to this, on one level or another.
    very well done and thank you for entering

    ♥

1 - 5 of 5