My best friend keeps calling me,
and I hate to answer b'cause in doing so-
My very life is being flushed out of me!
Ughhh..here I go once again...
my minds scattered and in dissarray-
My bodies numb-can't function this day!!
Feeling so many different emotions-
Trying to stop all the negative commotion!
Want to cry-but don't know why??
Feel sick and nauseaus, trying my best not to give in,
b'cause I am destroying Gods temple and I know thats a sin!
But my best friend, keeps calling my name-
"c'mon c'mon-it's time to play the game"
So I listen, for the very thoughts entice me-
then, I binge and purge-who cares??
My friend has assured me, no one will see!!
Now my chest feels like it's going to explode,
but I'm in the zone, I'm in the mode!!!
No stoppin now b'cause it is too late
and my friend keeps tellin me-I can't gain no wieght.
Now my throat feels like I'm coughing up splinters,
piercing my skin like violent rain, in icy winters.
I continue to purge, and my legs begin to feel weak
But my friend says I can't stop yet,theres more food to seek.
My stomach is sore- I can't spew no more-
Stil my friend whispers "continue to try"
so I listen, as tears voluntarily flow from my weary eyes.
My nose is running, my face is bloodshot red,
but here it comes, the acid, thats the taste I desperately dread!!
Game over, I'm just happy I won, but my best friend, my enemy
says laugh out loud, b'cause on the next game death shall surely come!!
Author notes
Contest- Vent: I hate my bestfriend, and love my enemy, my toilet is my love/hate relationship till da end!!
A contest entry
- Vent. by Walking Oxymoron.
400 points, ended November 21, 59 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
what do u think??
Comments
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A siggestion, I think this would have wroked better had you not tried to rhyme... It would have given it it's own flow, and the rhythm wouldn't have seemed so forced.
That said, you have some good vocabulary in here.
I loved this line...
b'cause I am destroying Gods temple and I know thats a sin!
Very clever there...
then, I binge and purge-who cares??
I do.
I think to make this poem more powerful, the last two lines need to be changed. I see what you were trying to do with them.. but they weren;t quite as powerful as I expect you wanted them to be.
That said, I have a new contest running right now that I believe you would be able to write perfectly for!
Seriously, go check it out- it's called Size Matters..
I have to say, I really like where you took the title of this. You did vent.
And you did it well...
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