She was charming, she was cheerful
in a creepy sort of way
I found her on a haystack
just the other day.
She was curvy, she was cuddly
she was clumsy, she was cold
her figure was colossal
as on my lap she rolled.
She said she felt most comfortable
and wouldn't let me go
I was calm and softly cooing
so many feet below
I asked her ' Should we marry ? '
her answer was so cruel
she said I was too short
it made me a feel a fool.
I really felt combative
and kicked her on the knee
she screamed and said I'll eat you
have you for my tea.
She grabbed me by the throat
and shouted it's your fault
she placed me on a burger
and sprinkled me with salt.
Gold trophy winner
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