They can put a man on the moon
Yet not make a reliable, safe contraception for women
Call me a slut
Call me a whore
Call me a murderer
And I will forgive you
Yes I'm young and wanted to have sex
Yes I’m poor and wanted to have sex
I opened my legs to the man I’m in a relationship with
Because as a human female I wanted to have sex
When I was seven I had head lice
And my mother used poisonous lotion to kill them
Before combing their lifeless bodies from me
Each one of them had a beating heart
I made a choice
To be called whore for one day
Or for nine months
Because I’m just old enough to be responsible
I consider myself lucky in the clinic
I know there will be women here to didn’t choose
I had an unforgettable night of passion
They had an unforgettable night
They can put a man on the moon
But you can’t stop looking down at me
Yes I had an abortion
Because from my womb I am free
Author notes
Dedicated to pete
Together we fight for better rights for women,and you know as well as i do of the importance of reproductive rights.If only there were more empathetic males like yourself.
I know this is not my best work
But i do feel strongly about abortion
Especially the guilt tacked onto it
L a d y N i g h t s h a d e
A contest entry
- Things we can't talk about. by WednesdayJade.
850 points, ended November 24, 2009, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Abortion; by Naridill.
539 points, ended November 12, 2009, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
Initially let me applaud you for having the strength and courage to write about your personal experiences with such a controversial topic. I am pro choice and have just recently had my first child at thirty three. While I was not in a position to consider such an extreme measure with my daughter, I do not feel it's my responsibility to remove the choice from her should she ever find herself in this position. Having said so, abortion is simply the answer to the problem, it is not the problem itself.
The only real suggestions I have for this poem are:
There is a triple use of "wanted to have sex" in the third stanza. I would consider adjusting that portion of the poem to make a stronger impact.
The word whore is used twice also. I would consider the use of a synonym in one place or the other.
Lastly, I would remove the forth stanza altogether. I don't think that the lice information brings anything real to the poem & actually it may reduce the importance of the poem's voice in the long run.
Good luck in the contest(s) and thank you for sharing.
- Bean Sidhe
-
Pure honesty
Though I am not a huge follower or promoter for abortion, I can understand your views.... however I take a different view on it that I think few ever try to take. I don't know if girls are afraid to take this viewpoint, or simply, people haven't thought of it. But honestly. Think about who is REALLY responsible... is the girl truly the one at fault? What about... the guy? It is the guy who knowingly orgasms inside the girl, why must he? What drives him to this point? I know that so far, I've never done so whilst having sex with a girl, it may help that I need more stimulation than that to orgasm, but still, why should girls have to pay the price, and be pointed at and ridiculed, for what their mate chose to do? Why should girls have to deal with a stress, that they really didn't choose. It is the guy, who knowingly puts his fluids into the girl, and whether he loves her or not, I don't think he's really being too loving at this point. Hell, I don't think he's really thinking about his actions. I can happily have sex and not even have an orgasm at all, I leave it all up to my girlfriend what transpires, I am happy with anything, so long as she is happy. Why can't the guy just have his orgasm on the girl's breasts, her back, hell, anywhere the eff, else? I think it's an important question that perhaps more girls need to ask their mates....
So, I salute you for doing what you felt was right, and then coming out and telling us all, complete strangers many of us are. Though I do not necessarily agree with abortion in some cases, in others, I think the woman should have that option. Especially in cases such as rape, incest, her life is in danger, or hell, let's add: mate's wanting to orgasm within her.
I don't know, I may be flamed for this comment, but bring it on, this poem was about being open about a private subject, so hey, I gave it my best reaction and thoughts.
I should give you a real comment on what I think about the poem itself now haha XD
I actually really liked the flow of it! It went very smoothly!
I can see some trophies in your near future! ;D Any and all rhyming I could tell was not forced, this poem was truly original and from the heart. Thank you for sharing this piece of art, friend.
-
"When I was seven I had head lice
And my mother used poisonous lotion to kill them
Before combing their lifeless bodies from me
Each one of them had a beating heart"
I feel this as a whole, could have been more minimal but still had the same effect. I am a firm believer of don't say in 100 words, what is easily said in 10. But you have given some brave imagery and I like your words uses. Especially ^^ -
interesting, you got your point across, Very powerful write. I really enjoyed reading this. although it did leave me a bit dirty. I have been in this situation, and unfortunatly more then once. Perhaps thats why it is powerful for me to read. The truth of this poem and how it relates to me HURTS. . I now disagree of using abortion as a means of contraception. because thats what I DID. (and i almost did it with my little boy. Ahhh and now he tells me he loves me.) and not during the first term, but at the end of my second. I am not one to judge. Do what you need to do i guess.
-
I am 100% pro choice and i'm sickened by the bear-bating that goes on outside of some abortion clinics, Well done for your honesty, I respect you and your right to chose. well put!
-
Powerful writing. I'm not sure how I feel about it... I have done the same as you... but I do feel very badly about it and am not sure that I agree with what I did. I do believe in not judging though.
This fits the contest perfectly, abortion is a very sensitive topic that people won't talk about... or won't talk about in the way you have - that women have the right to do it.
Thank you for entering.
x x x -
-
Oh can you add your AP name in your notes please? s p a c e d out so I can read it
x x x -
-
Ive put my name in my notes,spaced out as you requested.
xxx
-
-
-
I enjoyed the poem, but I can not elaborate from there as I do not believe in the right to choose. It is good that you still write about something that is controversial , even though you may receive negative responses.
-
Hurrah!! Thanks for the straight talk.
-
I admire your honesty and courage. I am a supporter of contraception, and I think you have written here an important piece of work.
Well done!
(really.)
Adding your comment:
1 - 11 of 11
