I wept quietly in the corner of my room,
and screamed WHY!?!
Why is this happening to me?
I cried out,
and punched the green carpet out of grief.
The hot tears spilled continously on the floor,
and I hold onto my teddy bear.
Asking myself did I really deserve this?
I tried my best to show him my love.
I love him so much,
but how could he have done this?
I thought he was my knight who was to come and save me.
I foolishly thought he was my prince.
Oh how wrong I was to think of that.
I cried again,
and hold closely to the teddy bear near my heart.
Wishing that it would take all the pain away from my poor soul.
Author notes
This is dedicated to the ones who read this.
A contest entry
- Prewrites. ♥ by GraveyardGoddess.
400 points, ends November 27, 419 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Did I had grammer erros in this? Was it any good? Anything that I should reconsider revising?
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Asking myself did I really deserve this?
I tried my best to show him my love.
I love him so much,
but how could he have done this?
I thought he was my knight who was to come and save me.
I foolishly thought he was my prince.
Oh how wrong I was to think of that
those lines are unbeleiveable sum times we though dat some one is the waitin one then we simply find out da truth dat he isn't deserve any of this, an realized how stupid we were !!!! you expressed it very well, great piece -
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Aw thank you. I am glad that you think this is a great piece. Love and Peace!
-Jess
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I feel for you. Sometimes we trust the wrong people with our hearts and in the end we pay greatly, but everything will be okay. I know it sounds a bit fruity to say that now but the pain will go away and you will look back on this and be a stronger person.
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I know. I already am. Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate your comment as always. Love and Peace!
-Jess
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Very good
This is a very touching poem of dreadful pain and regret for what some one had done in a moment of weakness. Maybe trusted the wrong person, and now paying the price.
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Awe...It'll be okay. Smile
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Thanks. Things are good now
.
-Jess
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Hardly any grammatical errors. Lovely.
And as girls, we all feel like this sometimes. I feel like this now, except right now, I don't love the guy. I just like him. There's a huge difference.
It's not anything to get worked up about, but it's a great idea for a poem. You put a lot of emotion into this. But it happens to everyone. xD
-->pia♫♪
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Yeah it is a great idea. Yeah I did a put lot of emotion into this. Yeah it does happen to everyone. Thank you for your comment. I always appreciate them
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Love and Peace!
-Jess
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oh yeah i also have a question could i please post this poem on my profile?
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Sure you can niece just give me credit that I wrote this darling
.
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thank you
of course i will
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AWWWWWW
this is so heart renching
i loveee it
did you go through this, i hope not.
But i love how you used a teddy bear in your poem
its very adorable and sweet XD
great write
again i love it
your niece
rose -
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Thank you I wrote it from the heart
Yeah I went through this before and hopefully... Anyways glad you love it..
Love your Auntie Jess
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