My mom: The alcoholic

When daddy left, she turned to Rum as her best friend
No longer did we matter, she didn't even realize we were alive
Glass after glass she drank the day away
Sitting on the couch, from there she never strayed
In two years I didn't see her eat dinner once
Mommy was so skinny, just skin and bones
I was only nine at the time, all I wanted was for mommy to acknowledge me

One day she got mad, to mad for reasoning
I'm not sure what Mat said, but she went overboard
We jumped out of the car, scared of what she might do
Mom swerved the car, if Mat hadn't of pulled me out of the way, I might not of been here today
She doesn't remember that of course, because she never remembers anything she does
But I was only nine years old, the vividness of that memory has never faded for me

Mom once told me to get her a beer, I told her no, I wouldn't do this anymore
She dragged me around the house screaming about how much of a dissapointment I was
But in the end I smiled, because I had won.
She got her own beer from that day on, if she was going to kill herself, she'd do it on her own
I was so proud of myself, that I had finally stood up to her

I watched her spiral downward far to fast
The drinking took up her life, she didn't even care if she died
Actually I think that's what she wanted, for this to just be over
She was constantly drunk, I never saw her without a drink
Sometimes I'd come home and find her passed out of the floor;she couldn't even make it to her bedroom

When CPS finally stepped in, she didn't even seem to care
I begged them to let me stay, someone needed to take care of mommy
For one full year she didn't even call, she kept on drinking, forgetting us all
Slowly it got better, but never did it fully stop
I'm sure the alcohol was there to numb the pain, the pain of her husband leaving her with three children to feed
She didn't want any of it, she just wanted to be free

When I found her in that hospital bed, nearly dead, I didn't know what to think
Her drinking had done the trick, she should have died, at least that's what the doctors said
But she didn't, and to this day I still don't know why
She still drinks, and we still fight constantly
But it's not as bad as it used to be
My eyes close, and my face flinches still every time she cracks her beer

But growing up with two alcoholic parents, made me realize some things
I have vowed to never take a drink of any sort of alcohol, never will I lower myself to those standards
I will never make my children feel like they aren't loved, because that is what she did to me
To wonder why no one loves you, never would I subject them to that kind of devastation
My mom means the world to me, but there are still days, when she'd choose the alcohol over me