You stole from charity boxes
lacked guile and laughter
shunned companionship
a pawn amongst tramps
you washed in streams
your breath as yellow
as your crooked teeth
that bruised a mean mouth
no love to give or take
scorned by many
who hated and feared you
in your shadowy stagnation
I loathed you
smelt your difference
sniggered at your drug-fuelled
stagger in grimy streets
why oh why
did you have to leave
that crinkled note of apology,
Mr Grogan,
"to the finder" of
your noose-ringed body
six weeks after
your suicide they said
the putrid smell of
a solitary death
that went unmourned
lingered like fine rain
I wish you had spared me
from the dirty truth
of your humble apology
scrolled on a crumpled gas bill
it rumbles loudly
in the hollow caverns
of my conscience
loitering like a vile smell.
Author notes
This man who was a social misfit hanged himself when in his 30's but left a grubby note apologizing to the finder of his body - if it hadn't been for the acrid smell, nobody would have noticed his demise.
What did you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
-
Heart-wrenching ...
It is indeed a very poignant write. You brought this to life, again, to let us know of all the living corpses around us ... in their apologetic state. We are responsible! We should care more, hear more ... "smell" more: the dying.
Love to you, Tony. Thank you for caring.
Myra
-
This poem while very well writtten, is kind of depressing. I mean I understand that the "dregs of society" may not be missed, but I wonder what his side of the story was? I wonder what happened in that mans life to make him choose that path. Was he born into it, or was there a tragedy that occured which made him fall into a downward spiral?
I truly enjoyed this piece. Thank you for sharing!
-Brea
-
At first I thought this was about The Grinch! lol
Were you the finder of his body, or did you find inspiration from a news story?
Well written, I might add!
-
-
No, I didn't find his body but read about it in the local paper - he was a former student of mine whose family had no sympathy for him on learning of his death.
-
-
Tony...the imagery here has sent me reeling....the whole thing played out in my mind...you sculpted it layer over layer with such skill...
thanks for sharing this very fine piece of art
T..
-
The title is part and parcel of the poem, acts as a summary and as an apt introduction to the content.
The first line shocked and shook me, making me wonder who this callow, shallow character was that could and would steal from charity, it's a strong opening line.
Within the first stanza you lay the foundation, the frame of this fellow's longing to be a lighthouse, left alone on a populated land, rather than to have to wear a mask for his emotions/lack of emotion. His isolation was palpable from the shunned companionship.
The next stanzas paint a portrait of the wretched and wretchedness of actions, appearance along with his antagonistic stance. Especially liked the reference to drug-fuelled stagger, it introduces motion and the surreal momentum of his mind.
The poem is powerfully thought provoking, it doesn't tell the reader what to think because it portrays a dark character and his dark deeds but leaves a door open for the reader to see the light, in the brief chink I glimpsed humanity inside Mr Grogan, despite being uncared for, unkempt, unkind to others, he spared his penultimate thoughts and actions for the stranger that would find him , by writing the apology.
It left me wondering whether anyone owed him an apology, whether an apology is ever enough, whether anyone can truly change themself by their self or whether, even when rebutting social interaction, there is a ravine deep need to interact.
It also made me consider cause, affect and disaffect and what we will and won't accept, how we build those walls or build instead bridges.
The poem echoes, echoes, echoes personal responsibility and touched me greatly.
-
Great job done here!
I guess you're busy with your next one now.
-
a pawn amongst tramps
-
your author notes.
"I wish you had spared me
from the dirty truth
of your humble apology
scrolled on a crumpled gas bill" amazing. descriptive
very gross, but very sad. -
I'm with Kastor...all I could say is Bravo...a very profound write in a very realistic setting
-
This is a very interesting poem. Thge most interesting being is when you consider the know defenition for 'Grogan'. Then you may chortle and burble away happily in the face of such a saddening poem.
Great work! -
Wow, this was so powerful! Very sad and emotional. Great story, I hope it wasn`t you that found him. It`s so sad that people get caught up in their misery and live and die like that and have nobody left to mourn them when they are gone. Wasted life, then to pawn their mistakes and misery on a stranger, which will haunt them for the rest of their lives. I really enjoy your style of writing. Thanks so much for sharing!
-
Go Camus!
They tell me that if I don't have anything good to say then I should shut up. I never shut up, and usually I'm complaining about things. This time though, well, I'm at a loss for words. I don't do praise so well.
This is good.
-
it seems a classical one..
i just checked the author of this..it is you again CAMUS.
i always focus in the poem, secondarily to the author. i am so mazed that it is you again...
pls try to double check your 2nd stanza..it is very rustic.
a very nice body of thoughts is created and channelled through your poem.
congrats!!!
-
Wow this was dark and amazing. Very morbid but I love it.
-
Excellent
A very intriguing write, indeed. You have expressed your thoughts quite well, with fine imagery. Thanks for sharing this one with us.
-
wow this is a great write kind of sad but it was wonderfully written!
-
Pretty Great
I like the overall humaness of it, the 'dirty truth' that seems to radiate with every word. I like your choice of vocabulary, the only thing I have to say is that the last two stanzas are a little awkward and lack the flow of the rest of the poem. -
-
I guess the awkwardness of the final stanzas reflects and echoes the awkwardness I felt when I realized he was human. Tony
-
-
So very sad, the imagery pulled at my emotion as I experienced a few of them while reading this, everything from empathy to anger.
A great write, very touching.
-
Thi is a sad story, yet very human - such a strange touch for an antisocial misfit to apologize for upsetting the finders of his body. Makes me wonder what other graces he was capable of, and how little we see when we look at fellow humans.
-
aw...very powerful and life like piece tony. i really like it, good to see you with a new poem. Sad story, keep writing. and take care
Stephanie ♥
Adding your comment:
1 - 22 of 22
