So tender your arms
As they enfold this precious being
So sweet the chimes of this newborns crys
As he searches for a mothers warmth
So beautiful the tears streaming from your eyes
As you gaze at the gift you've given the world
So feirce your love to protect him from all
As you cradel him to your exauhsted body
So small the the hands that reach for you
As it senses the one who loves it near
So soft this kiss you place on its brow
As you promiss it again, that you'll love it forever
Author notes
i like the way this one turned out. i hope you like it as well, whether it wins this contest or not.
A contest entry
- Semi-Quickie! One winner. :) by Beautiful-N-Broken.
460 points, ended November 3, 6 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Write Me Another Life PW's ALLOWED by Intricate Wordsmith.
600 points, ended November 10, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - .~*~.Heal My Heart.~*~. by Melissa Burns.
425 points, ended November 5, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what emotions does this inspire within you?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Very happy and peaceful poem, was just what I needed, thank you for entering my ever so humble little contest - ------ I hope you had fun and GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!
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This is beautiful! The bond between mother and baby described is touching and heartwarming. I like the way this has been penned, well done!
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Aww this is so precious I like the way it turned out too.
You did spell promise wrong but other than that this write was perfect. Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest.
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The format (surprisingly enough) didn't compromise your piece but it only made it stronger. Your poem is very simple yet highly effective; it appeals to emotion and literary sense without trying too hard. A few small corrections...
L3 - Newborn's cries.
L4 - for his mother's warmth (babies don't tend to pop out and go look for a mother, you know).
L7 - Fierce.
L8 - Cradle, exhausted.
L12 - Promise, love *him* forever (babies aren't objects).
Aside from that, this poem is very well done. Short, sweet, and to the point. Although this is meaningful to me as a guy, I imagine this would be very meaningful to a mother. Great work.
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thank you for the helpful editing and critisism. just to mention though, line 12, the reason i qualified the baby as 'it' is simply because i do not know the gender of the baby who has yet to be born who belongs to the mother i wrote this for.
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Understandable, but I corrected just because it looks funny. I also picked it out because I was taught by my freshman English teacher to always use his if the gender is unknown.
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